How it feels to be the most consistent egg_irl poster 2+ years into my transition:

I’m not sure if all the eggs on Lemmy have already cracked, or if Lemmy users just aren’t fans of egg memes. Either way, I think it’s a shame, as egg_irl back on reddit was helpful for me once upon a time.

My dumbass spent years lurking on trans subreddits without seriously getting outside of my comfort zone about my own identity. At the time, I only saw being trans as “something that other people experienced;” people who weren’t me. I still felt like I related to trans people; an odd affinity that I assumed was related to my sexuality or neurodivergence. I may have figured things out given enough time, but considering how suicidal I was back then, time could’ve easily ran out instead.

I was genuinely terrified of egg_irl once I found it. I would browse it until uncomfortable feelings overtook me, causing me to run away for several days and block it out of my conscious awareness. Unlike many people, I wasn’t really in the closet about my gender identity before then; I genuinely had no idea. I have a disconnect between my conscious awareness and my emotions, preferences, and desires (Alexithymia). I literally need to try something and observe my own reaction to know if I like it. I never experienced crossdressing or playing as a girl growing up, so I couldn’t have known how much better it feels.

Egg_irl is a liminal space, as all eggs tend to crack or repress themselves from living true. Egg memes become increasingly less interesting as being your true gender becomes your new normal. I’m just a woman now, a real person instead of the empty husk of the past. Despite that, I still try to post regularly so that this place stays relevant on the fediverse. I know for a fact that trans memes on Lemmy can help people find themselves. However, I know that I can’t keep this place alive on my own.

I’m calling on other trans and questioning people to post here more. Whether you’re still unsure of yourself, or you simply haven’t been able to fully transition, this place could use more posts from people who are closer to being an egg than I am. I can only remember so much about my own experiences, so I can’t capture the full depths of what it’s like to be traveling that path. Please help me keep the nest warm.