• FenrirIII@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Switch to Luthor Insurance. We cover acts of Superman, alien invasion, cataclysm, even Darkseid.

      By signing this waiver, the insured party (hereafter referred to as “the unfortunate soul”) acknowledges that Luthor Insurance assumes no responsibility for any claims, damages, disasters, acts of villainy, or mysterious disappearances.

      Terms & Conditions:

      1. Luthor Insurance reserves the right to deny all claims on the grounds of “bad luck.”
      2. Any attempt to file a claim may result in an additional “Inconvenience Fee.”
      3. Coverage excludes fire, floods, theft, accidents, misfortune, betrayal, and all incidents involving curses, hexes, or ominous coincidences.
      4. Luthor Insurance retains the right to unilaterally change policy terms, preferably when it is least convenient for the insured.
      5. Any disputes must be settled in the Luthor Insurance Court of Unfair Appeals, where rulings are final and always favor Luthor Insurance.

      By signing below, the unfortunate soul agrees to these terms in perpetuity and waives all rights to fairness, justice, or reasonable compensation.

      Signature: _______________
      Date: _______________

      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Superman isn’t a god. The definitions of what a god is across cultures are pretty varied, but one thing that pretty much all of them have in common is that a god has authority over at least some part of nature (often being a personification of that part.) Superman has no authority (beyond the trust that humans willingly give to him do to his actions,) he’s just really strong.

        The fact that modern writers insist on treating Superman as a god is one of the reasons why so many modern Superman stories suck.

    • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago
      1. In his extra undies he is in incognito mode, which is funnily him taking his glasses off… So I reckon his real sacrifice is one of chastity…
      2. He is broke, canonically so!

      So no, but thats why you read the small print on your contract to make sure that you only have to worry about your life in a case of alien invasion/terrorist attack/…

    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Well, as of the last trailer there isn’t much of a difference between Superman and Homelander. Both are whiny, entitled assholes who believe that it’s unthinkable that anyone should question how they use their powers.

  • DeusUmbra@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I mean, depending on how much the value of the car has changed, you might get lucky. My last car got totaled by severe hail, I’d only paid maybe 30% of it off by that point, but it turned out the value of my vehicle went mostly unchanged, possibly even raised slightly, and insurance paid out the full value of the car. I actually came out ahead a couple thousand dollars, which I was able to then use for a down payment on my current car.

  • epicstove@lemmy.ca
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    5 days ago

    Gotta buy that super insurance. Covers all super hero/villain related accidents.

    • TehBamski@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 days ago

      This genuinely sounds like the work of a typical mega insurance corp in the US.

      *Get insured because you don’t know when a superhero or super villain might come and wreak havoc on your belongings, transportation, living space, or even YOU. Just pay this [Insert some goddly amount] to join the million + people that think such a thing will happen to them (but probably will never happen to them and we don’t give a fuck about you nor if it actually happens to you or not. Even when it does happen to you, we will have the “right” and “ability” to deny your claim, even though that’s what this insurance policy is for. So get wrecked pawn scum-didili-dumb-dumb.)

      • epicstove@lemmy.ca
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        3 days ago

        They pay the super villains to wreak the shit of people that haven’t bought the insurance to get more people to buy it.

  • merc@sh.itjust.works
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    6 days ago

    On a related note:

    United States Department of Damage Control is a fictional construction company appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. The company specializes in repairing the property damage caused by conflicts between superheroes and supervillains.[1] Three Damage Control limited series have been published.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damage_Control_(comics)

    Also note that the initials of “Damage Control” are “D.C.

    This goes part of the way to explain why people are willing to continue to live in NYC despite it being regularly attacked by supervillains, aliens, demons, etc. Though, I still think Philadelphia, Newark, Allentown and New Haven would probably be experiencing a lot of growth, seeing as they appear to be close to NYC and yet safe from the NYC chaos and danger.

  • Bimfred@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    If Supes is doing it to stop some dickwad from destroying the Earth, enslaving humanity, or erasing the concept of pizzas, I’ll be yelling at him to do it again. Fuck the car, I can walk!

    • JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      Please, not in this timeline. Its homelander pumelling a camera crew that filmed him killing a bus full of kids with cancer.

  • General_Effort@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    So… In that movie, I guess Superman appears without uan? Well, makes sense, why would he need chinese currency.