Kichae

Not to be confused with Kitt bashing.

“We’re the front page of the Internet!”

“No, not like that…”

My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

This is the reason why. Your ex has managed to control the narrative and has manipulated the social atmosphere to ice you out. Emotional abusers are often very good at this. They mamipulate everyone around them.

And they are really good at choosing their abuse victims. They know who they can love bomb, who they can isolate, and who will keep their mouth shut.

I have been there. Watched people I thought were friends just evaporate, choosing their relationship with my ex over me. Realizing they were never my friends, they were “ours”, and ij the end they stuck by her, the more openly social and boistrous one.

It’s taken a long time, and many different therapists, but I’ve come to accept my experiences as abuse, as not my fault, and… sometimes… that I am worthy of love, friendship, and happiness.

I have found the books The Body Keeps the Score and Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (available as audio books), as well as videos on toxic shame and attachment by Heidi Prieb, very helpful.

I know the words feel hollow, because they feel so far the opposite of true, but you are not alone. Many others have been through what you’ve endured, and have made it out the other side. There are people out there who will, one day, be so very glad to have you in their lives.

Some day, when you’re ready – and much earlier than I did, I implore you – you should join some activity groups. Take up a recreational sport, join a gaming group, take group acting lessons, join a choir… anything that is a) casual and b) a group activity. Bonus points if it’s something you always enjoyed, buy your ex tried to excise from your life. This will help you rebuild your social network, and let you reconnect with yourself.

Physical activity and a healthy diet is also important here. It may be the last thing you want to do, but it actively helps fight all of your worst psychic injuries. Not only is it physiologically good for you, it’s psychologicallly good for you. You know that it’s good for you; your brain knows it. Doing healthy things means choosing to care about yourself. You need to actively choose yourself at every step of the way. It trains your mind to see yourself as worthy of care.

Oh, and ritually burn things that were hers, or that were shared and tied to your relationship. You don’t need them. You don’t need her. You’re going to be better off without her.

But I am home at 1pm, and they still didn’t actually deliver the package!

Karl Urban just highlighting Simon Pegg’s lack of dedication to his role.

No, this is a failure on that front. The Conservatives should be a non-factor now, but they’re disturbingly close. This is a tight election that has kind of crushed the left-ish party.

The country is deeply polarized, and it’s entirely the fault of billionaires and their media companies

Languages, famously static constructs.

Have you ever seen someone with their turn light on, only for them to go straight?

The turn signal is only an assurance that the driver has made contact with the signal lever, not their intentions.

I have been told by multiple people (so, like, two. Maybe 3) over the years that things I have posted have changed their minds and their leanings on political topics. But these were not any of the people I was directly addressing. I think they may have all been before the rise of Big Social, too.

There are also just a lot of personalization options that just aren’t there, particularly for power-lite users, because Linix power users use the terminal for everything.

Like, heaven forbid you want a full featured, advanced file manager or something, but aren’t interested in learning bash scripting…

It’s probably not cheaper than just shooting orphans for sport.

You don’t need hundreds of millions of users, though. You only need a few dozen users active in each community to make them worth while. A couple of hundred makes them downright vibrant.

Reddit-like communities with hundreds of thousands of users are a waste, and become nearly impossible to moderate effectively.

Cool. I don’t want companies using AI to evaluate my application. They can get what they want when I get what I want.

I feel it’s odd to ban people I don’t like for their behavior outside the community.

If you’re polite in my house, but I hear you’re talking shit behind my back, you’re not welcome in my house anymore.

I did this a few months ago. I haven’t found replacements for everything, but I’ve found that it’s really come down to my not actually using those things very much in the first place, so I haven’t had to do the work.

When I look, I find something that works. What are you still looking for?

I find the array of installation options a little overwhelming or intimidating sometimes. If I can just do the equivalent of apt-get, that’s, of course, easy enough. But sometimes things are just realeased as tar balls, and I have to go and look up WTF I’m supposed to do each time. Nothing comes up often enough for me to internalize it.

I do find myself chafing against just the fundamental differences of the *nix environment from the DOS-based heritage of Windows. And I find it difficult to get help with certain things sometimes because the installed user/developer base isn’t super interested in supporting different modes of interaction (“just use the terminal, it’s so much faster [for me]” is a common refrain that makes me want to get stabby). But 99% of the time, it’s been smooth sailing.

At this stage, if you have drivers for everything, and there’s nothing mission critical that’s still tied to Windows, the best advice I can give you is to copy your important files over from your Windows partition, and then dump it. If you have a 2nd computer, leave that one running Windows for now. The duel booting can make it tempting to just reboot into Windows “just for this one thing”, and stay there until you next have to restart.

Yes! That’s how they can unionize now.

Instagram is, uh, Meta? It was gobbled up just as it was taking off.

Tiktok couldn’t be gobbled, and is being beat down by legislators until they sell to US tech firms.

“If you aren’t a programmer, don’t speak” is about what I expect from programmers, yes. That kind of elitism is why most programmer-only projects are utter shit.

Well, you see, the combination of mayonnaise and melted cheese creates a chemical chain reaction in my brain that makes me feel good.

“Why do they allow these people to gate communities on this website that allows just anyone to create and moderate communities??!?”

Don’t comment in spaces where you don’t respect the mods. You’re just wasting your time. It’s not like you have an inalienable right to an audience.