Olives with beer taste just like toast! Fosters is the best for testing this theory.

Yeah. And I spent a while posting prolifically to them, but without comments, and without new posts, it’s kinda pointless. I want to see OTHER people’s content.

US, I just got to offer stage with a company and the PTO was 10 days… I’m originally from the UK, and previously worked with startups from other countries, so this is shocking to me. More infuriating was the response from my friend group when I complained about it. “Yeah that’s pretty standard” and I’m like “ok but it’s also shit?”

Lovely and terrifying all at once. Can’t wait for the new one!

I worked for German startup tech bros who decided to become freight logistics influencers. Fuck, those absolute cretins were the worst humans I’ve met maybe ever. I ended up on 100mg anti anxiety meds and I still hated it enough to end up quitting one random Thursday.

Some people are just destined to be soul suckers, and it’s like a virus - those who don’t jump ship end up catching the disease.

Actionable. Ugh.

The ice compartment of our fridge. It’s always a fucking compressed block that needs manually smashing up. I fucking hate it so much.

Woman here: I’m not annoyed if a person I don’t know talks to me, as long as a) they don’t interrupt something I’m doing to have conversation and b) they read my body language and fuck off again the moment it’s clear I’m not interested. But asking me questions when I have my headphones in to talk about inane shit while I roll my eyes? Nah.

도대체 방금 나한테 뭐라고 씨부린 거냐, 이 작은 개자식아? 나는 네가 알다시피 네이비 씰에서 수석으로 졸업했고, 알카에다를 상대로 한 수많은 비밀 작전에 참여했으며, 300명 이상의 확정 킬 수를 자랑한다. 나는 게릴라 전투에 훈련된 전문가이며, 미군 전체에서 최고의 저격수다. 너 같은 건 내게 그냥 또 하나의 표적일 뿐이다. 나는 너를 이 지구상에서 본 적 없는 정밀도로 쓸어버릴 거야. 내 말 명심해, 이 개새끼야. 네가 감히 인터넷에서 그런 쓰레기 같은 말을 내게 할 수 있다고 생각했냐? 다시 생각해, 씹새야. 지금 이 순간에도 나는 미국 전역에 퍼져 있는 내 비밀 정보망과 연락 중이고, 네 IP는 이미 추적되고 있으니 폭풍에 대비하는 게 좋을 거다, 벌레 자식아. 그 폭풍은 네가 네 인생이라 부르는 초라한 존재를 쓸어버릴 것이다. 넌 끝났어, 애송이야. 난 언제 어디서든 나타날 수 있고, 맨손으로만 700가지 이상의 방법으로 널 죽일 수 있다. 나는 맨몸 전투에 철저히 훈련받았을 뿐 아니라, 미 해병대 무기고 전체에 접근할 수 있고, 그 무기를 전부 사용해서 너 같은 찌질이를 이 대륙에서 지워버릴 수 있어, 이 좆만한 새끼야. 네가 얼마나 신성모독 같은 응징을 네 “기발한” 댓글 하나로 자초했는지 알았더라면 입 닥치고 있었을 거다. 하지만 넌 못 참았고, 안 했고, 이제 그 대가를 치르는 거다, 이 빌어먹을 멍청아. 나는 분노의 똥을 너한테 쏟아붓고, 넌 거기 빠져 죽게 될 거다. 넌 진짜 끝장이야, 꼬맹이.

What’s your favorite lie you’ve told to a bunch of strangers on Lemmy?

Them’s some good memes huh

I need someone to start posting a lot of celebrity snark. Like, low quality mean snark about rich cunts. I in no way will contribute, other than the odd carefully rationed upvote, but I will consume guiltlessly.

Hurry, now.

I can cut butter to the exact weight each time.

That’s easy, just cut your morel open and check if it’s hollow. Supposedly, I wouldn’t know…

Morels are hard to find.

I don’t think Google home listens in.

Because I’d absolutely be disappeared by now if it did.

My dad bought me a $300 ice cream maker - it actually churns out really delicious soft serve style ice cream with barely any work. The issue is it’s about 100 lbs, the size of a small HVAC unit, and I put it away in our basement storage area. At this point it’s less effort to just buy the damn ice cream.

Omg I have one. Sara Lee chocolate gateaux. It was this triple layer cake of delight, and my parents would buy it for every party back in the 90s. This was before chocolate got shit, so it was alllllll of the good stuff. Probably some cocaine in there too, who knows. I fucking miss that cake.

My husband once said to me, “this is a terrible thing to say, and I don’t want you to feel bad, but you do seem like the type who might shake a baby” - I was sterilized by then so it was funny vs insulting.

I do not have kids. I got sterilized (had my fallopian tubes removed) in my mid 30s. I never really felt the urge to have them, and the idea of having them became more and more of an icky thought. I am a sleepy person who wakes up at noon on weekends. I’m messy and forget the laundry in the machine. I’m self centered and like to spend what I earn on me, or choose when I feel like gifting and giving to others. I’m picky, I like to find things exactly how I left them, and I don’t like sharing with people who aren’t my husband. I’m not a bad person, I just understand my behaviors and realize that I don’t really have a responsibility to change as long as I’m child free. Add to that the fact that I have so many hobbies, a close knit group of friends, and a bunch of pets - I never feel bored or lonely and I know it’ll only get better with age. Kids just never factored in.