i started realizing more and more that my father’s jokes were racist. then i started noticing that his normal speech and interactions were racist.

i was brought up with this racism as a norm, so it took me a long time to realize we were a racist family (longer than i would like to admit).

then after a realizing how racist we were, i put two and two together… my father is a police officer.

I saw two of my friends joking with their father and realised they weren’t afraid of him.

My father worked as an environmental engineer for an oil company cleaning up oil spills and messes. He wanted a certain quality of life, so we only ever lived in southern or messed up states. Texas, Missouri and 7 years in Utah. Going to elementary school with the racist bigot Mormons was hell. Long story short he is a Neo-Liberal Boomer that helped the oil industry with his efficiency and diligence cover up issues and increase profits. A money hawk and penny-pincher, who wouldn’t move to blue states because of higher prices, believing in American Exceptionalism, and has zero regrets working for a company that helped destroy the world. I admit he’s not the worst by a long shot. But I would have preferred being broke and poor in another country and him not working for mankind’s enemies.

Remember my dad spilling strong acid ruining the living room which I later found out was intended for my mom.

To this day I can’t help but cringe when people equate middle eastern issues to western issues. This shit is not even the same planet - the whole region is like a century behind at least despite all the money and development and is fundamentally a failed culture.

The constant and direct praise of fascism. His words showing me his fascist keychain “I am a fascist”.

Don’t worry he is suffering, I’m destroying his life piece by piece. :)

I knew they were shitty to me and my brother, but rationalized most of it as being the product of a different culture and time. What really sealed the deal was finding out how shitty they were being to my elderly frail grandmother who was living with them. They made her last years on this Earth so miserable. I have lost all respect for them, I will never forgive them, and I’m glad to be hundreds of km away from them.

When I was in college and everyone was talking about where they grew up, and I realized I only remembered bits and pieces of growing up, and those were always when my parents weren’t around. Some online searching later and a talk with a therapist, and I don’t talk with my parents anymore. It’s better that way.

One of my brothers adopted a baby from Guatemala. He was a beautiful baby that grew up into a good man. He is 20 this year.

I knew that my mother and by extension my father were bigoted. She had made numerous comments while I was growing up that revealed that aspect of her. With that said, I had never seen her act upon it though. During a phone conversation with her we were talking about my new nephew and she stated: “He’ll never be a real grandchild.” When I asked why, she flatly stated because he was Latino. To me that was the point that I lost all respect for her. My Dad was a massive enabler as well.

She also showed a strong preference for those children/ grandchildren that looked like her. Brown hair with brown eyes.

She died in 2011 the week that the tsunami hit Japan. My life became a lot better after that. Dad died last year and I did not even go to his funeral.

Around the time my kids were graduating from highschool, she always made it seem like being a mom was this monumental task that no reasonable person could ever do well, just unbearably difficult so to cope you’d need to scream at and emotionally abuse your children or you’d never survive. There are two modes of mothering, ignoring your child or screaming at your child. My mom kept me fairly isolated and wouldn’t drive me anywhere despite living in along distance to nothing but other houses mostly filled with older couples so I never really got to see how “normal” families work or how other kids interacted with their parents, if I ever did manage to get an invite to a new friends house or an after school activity was forbidden from participating. Raising kids though, wow, such an incredible eye opener to just how easy kids are to love, how easy it is to raise children when you’re a sane and consistent parent. Motherhood isn’t inherently a screaming match between you and a child who never asked to be there that you hate because of their mere existence. Sure not everyone is cut out to be a mom, of course, but to present abuse as both normal and justified is evil. I don’t care how bad she had it as a kid, she was obligated to protect me from that just like I was obligated to protect my kids from the things she did to me. She was an early childhood education teacher and I’ve come to realize it’s because anyone over the age of ~4 is too much of a human being for her to handle, she only wants completely subservient, physically small children around because she can dominate them and any other social interaction that she’s not dominating the other person is intolerable to her. She’s a pathetic person truly

Finding the Trump coins while helping her move. She’s asking me for money after sending hers to a racist conman.

That, and teaching my young daughter the N-word.

When I heard my father decrying racism as wrong - and then turning right around in the very next sentence to say that homosexuals and trans people deserve god’s wrath.

It took a long time for me. I knew they did mean things but when you are raised like that it seems normal. The real breaking point is when I realized my mother was abusing my autistic son the same way she had me. They both died last year and I didn’t go to either funeral. My dad would often get in my face and scream at me while my mother would destroy anything I loved. If she gave me a present in a few years it would be gone. She would have and would be “saving it” for me. I have nothing from my childhood. I don’t have my class ring ‘she bought’ because I would just lose it was always the excuse. My dad was little different. I had a heart attack and got behind on my house payments. My dad ‘helped’ me out buy taking over the loan. When I signed both him and the POS bank guy told me it was just them adding him to the loan but it was them cutting me out. I could go on and on but the first sentence is your answer. I would like to add they were physically abusive up until I was fourteen. At that point I was absurdly strong for my age due to being my dads ‘slow gaited mule’ in his scrap business. He never passed up a chance to tell me I wasn’t good enough. I just wish I would have realized how badly they feared me after I picked something up that few could and put it in the back of a truck. I did this because he was having a full meltdown and I was scared of him.

They voted for an orange hellscape and consume CCP/MAGA propaganda; after them proving themselves to be incapable of solving/managing my aspergers/ADHD and isolating themselves from the rest of the school community.

Post 9/11 and watching Fox News constantly. I realized most people aren’t good people because they followed into fascism far too easily.

Dad voted for trump the first election. Also they say some mildly racist things about Black people and Latinos