Anti-tankie mines
Some sort of impenetrable energy barrier or whatever that would absorb/reflect whatever fast kinetic blow/projectile would be ideal, IMO. I’d rather have the absorb version so I could just berate them for being violent instead of just getting killed by a bouncing bullet, lol.
An orbital cannon for 1 lb kinetic impactors. You’d probably want them to be in low earth orbit so they can strike quickly. This would of course require a constellation of satellite cannon systems, probably 2000 or so would be sufficient. Also, you’d want to be standing back from your target, probably 20 feet would be safe. Probably.
Also, they’ll have mixed results indoors, either putting holes through every floor above you or not quite reaching the target if you were at the base of a skyscraper. Probably not awesome for the skyscraper either…
Maybe someday everyone could have one of these for personal defense.
Omnidirectional body mounted claymore mine.
Just watch your hands.
Bag of little isopod shaped robots. They are fast moving with nuclear batteries and tungsten carbide shells and lots of sharp edges for chewing and burrowing through flesh. They can also dig into the ground a few inches and hibernate like cicadas to protect an area. Not wireless networked but instead have onboard processing for voice commands, use sense of smell for IFF and echolocation to coordinate their swarming.
Couldn’t stop a gun, but they are a deterrent against using it because if you shoot me we both die but you die in a more horrible way.
A halberd, comparatively easy to use, long range and quite versatile.
DMT clouds making them connect to the universe and lay down 4 minutes
Fentanyl dart gun
Anti-cop weapon.
Body odour
Or that guy from Mystery Men who farts.
This is why I have cannons loaded with grapeshot in every room of my house. Never know when I’ll need to remove a thief from existence.
Safety is all about preparation.
A gun that shoots tiny missiles that aim at the attackers butthole and once they hit they release a jet of freezing water up their butt.
Wait, why would you want to make your attackers horny?
Ummm, adding an optional pepper spray missile if the first one was not effective…
Personal forcefield with a shape of my choosing, activate either by s simple device or algorithmically based on external factors. Great for safety but also handy as an umbrella.
personal satellite with Hatsune Miku licensed voice assistant for targeting and fire control. A few lasers of different frequency, a railgun, maybe some emergency snack pods with little chutes.
Something that makes me disappear instantly and teleports me to the pub down the street. Cold beer is better than hot fight.
What if it’s a bar fight
A tank full of sharks and gloves that dispense a sticky concentrated chum mixture with each hit. Get a couple good body blows in, knock them into the water, let nature (+/-) take its course.
Self defense is a fantasy of control. If you want to eliminate threats to yourself rationally, eat more vegetables, take care of your mental health, and drive carefully.
I was more or less trying not to refer to weapons of mass destruction. Not implying self defense is virtuous.
