Best: My aunt’s wedding. Super quick ceremony. I and my cousins were all in the 6-11 year old age range. She had a piñata for us at the reception. We devoured candy and danced and ran around like maniacs, it was glorious.

Worst: Years later, one of those same cousins mentioned above gets married. In July. In Massachusetts. Outside. The heat and humidity were unbearable. And they KNEW the weather was gonna be shit, because the wedding program they handed out to everyone before the ceremony began was shaped like a fucking fan. THEY KNEW.

The ceremony finally ends and the catering staff makes everyone wait outside the dining hall in the heat for unknown reasons for another full hour. When we’re finally let in, the AC is struggling to keep up and it’s hot as hell in there, too. When the dinner is served, it is NOT the vegetarian lasagna I chose on the wedding invite, no, it’s a portabella mushroom burger. I hate mushrooms, I would have never chosen such a thing. They switched the menu out and didn’t tell anyone. Also, no open bar, wtf.

  • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
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    17 hours ago

    Best: distant cousins fancy wedding at a seaside place somewhere in Massachusetts. Been a while. Wedding was expensive, but not long. Reception was at a yacht club right on the ocean. So beautiful, food was fantastic, they had a wide variety of desserts, not just wedding cake, fun DJ, coffee cart with everything you could want. I was awkward 19 year old and some pretty girl wanted to dance with me which NEVER happens. Was a nice confidence lift–until dancing because I dance like a complete imbecile. Still worth it.

    Worst was high school friends wedding, not long after high school graduation. They were young. Married in tired old church a mile from where we went to school (rural, poor). Was summer, no ac because poor. Reception was in bingo hall/basketball gym next door to church where we had junior high dances. Food was mad gross, came from nasty restaurant down the street. Just country slop. Tables were literally folding tables with a sheet of white paper on them and a tiny bit of confetti. No flowers, no other decorations. They did have a plastic disposable cup of mixed nuts. Cup was the size of a salsa side. My brother sat down, ate the whole thing in one mouthful so that was that. He also used the disposable cameras left (no photographer) to take a pixture of his ass. DJ was a relative who played garbage music that was just what he (in his late 50s) liked so it was ass. His setup was old and sounded like shit, did not help that the space was tile floor and cinderblock walls so it was an echoy mess. Then he got super drunk less than an hour in and left–took his shitty equipment with him. Bride is pissed (but it was her uncle) so someone found a boombox and put the bingo announcer microphone in front of it. It sounded just like you would think. I left at that point, had enough. They’re still married, she’s still a shrew, hes OK i guess but never understood that relationship. I’m pretty sure there is a dom/sub sex thing going on, she’s the dom (frequently wearing tall black leather boots even when its hot out or would seem out of place). To each their own, they’ve been married for 30 years, so something is working.