I just realized that I’ve made a horrible and irreversible mistake. I’ve booked my entire family to drive a full day (with a toddler) to stay in an Airbnb for a full week, centered around an event that is actually happening the week before we arrive.
I realize that my ADHD probably played some role in this, but having an explanation doesn’t really stop me from calling myself every hurtful and inappropriate synonym of the word “stupid”. It’s only full blast inside of my head and it’s inescapable.
I can feel the absolute, white-hot, nuclear rage boiling up inside of me. I am seething with self-hatred right now…this realization has just ruined my entire summer, and rendered months of difficult preparations and thousands of dollars of travel plans completely pointless.
If anyone has some kind words, I could really use them right now as I’m definitely supplying myself with a fair amount of hateful, abusive, and violent self-talk.
I literally cannot believe how stupid I feel and how broken my brain is. I am drowning in shame and embarrassment right now.
I used to be sceptical about these things long before the word “degoogle” was used, but I realised that in my case, it’s worth the loss of privacy. So I put everything into google calendar, and I use the assistant with speech-to-text to input every event, appointment and timespan as soon as I get it for the first time.
A classical wall calendar will never work for people like us. Best we can do is IMAGINE how we’ll just put everything in it.
Still somehow mess up hilariously, but less often now.