Reposting a question I saw on reddit like a decade ago. My favorite answer I read was, “I’d take my 100 dogs home and live like a king.”
Personally, I have two cats, Sansa and Shere Khan. For both, I could significantly narrow down the options by seeing which cats meowed at me the most. (I swear I didn’t teach them to yell, but here we are.) For both, I could bring in a dog to discern which cats weren’t scared of dogs. For Sansa, I could wait until dinnertime and put down some wet food, then see who hems and haws about eating it despite having screamed for it. That might not be enough to get it down to just one each, but oh well. I could use 5 or 10 more cats.
I feign striking my wife in anger.
We shared a house with my wife’s brother. He was an alcoholic, and got uppity one night. I was at work, so not home.
Our dog made sure he regretted being an aggressive ass towards his sister.
Then I nearly got assault charges for making sure he remembered why he was bruised and scratched up the next morning after I got home from night shift. The canine puncture was his own fucking problem. Note: I didn’t lay a hand on him, was just accused.
Dad’s Doberman would only attack if he thought my stepmom was threatened. They’d play fight to encourage him.