For what it’s worth I understand how you’re feeling, and those feelings are valid. No need to answer an internet stranger, but why is it that you feel worthless? For me I think it’s because I care too much about what other people, that I can have value unless someone else sees that value and acts on it. I’ve been trying to focus on that, and say the things to myself that I wish others would. It didn’t work at first, but I’ve noticed my self worth increasing ever so slightly the more I do it. So if I could offer some unsolicited advice, try to figure out why you feel the way you do. Without that you can’t start making meaningful changes.
Because I invested my entire being into someone else for over a decade who betrayed me on very deep levels for someone her entire family dislikes and is ashamed of her for, that’s almost 20 years older than her, that’s illiterate and visually the opposite of me in every possible way (he’s obese, I’m fit, he’s black, I’m white, he’s nearly 50, I’m 34 (she’s 29), he’s got dirty looking dreads and wears rap themed tshirts you would find at Walmart or wife beaters, I dress in clean clothes that actually fit me and do my hair, everyone that’s met him says I’m better looking, etc). The key takeaway being the first part of that though; that I put my everything into her and abandoned everything about myself over ten years to have it all thrown in the trash.
So I’m having to move out from the home we’ve shared forever, losing 3 dogs and two cats. The wild thing is that her family loves me so much that they just cosigned and dropped 10k to get me my first home. Which TBH as much as it is a lot of things, one thing it for sure is is terrifying me, I’m so scared I will fall behind or not even make enough to cover all the bills to begin with.
For what it’s worth I understand how you’re feeling, and those feelings are valid. No need to answer an internet stranger, but why is it that you feel worthless? For me I think it’s because I care too much about what other people, that I can have value unless someone else sees that value and acts on it. I’ve been trying to focus on that, and say the things to myself that I wish others would. It didn’t work at first, but I’ve noticed my self worth increasing ever so slightly the more I do it. So if I could offer some unsolicited advice, try to figure out why you feel the way you do. Without that you can’t start making meaningful changes.
From another exhausted person to another.
Because I invested my entire being into someone else for over a decade who betrayed me on very deep levels for someone her entire family dislikes and is ashamed of her for, that’s almost 20 years older than her, that’s illiterate and visually the opposite of me in every possible way (he’s obese, I’m fit, he’s black, I’m white, he’s nearly 50, I’m 34 (she’s 29), he’s got dirty looking dreads and wears rap themed tshirts you would find at Walmart or wife beaters, I dress in clean clothes that actually fit me and do my hair, everyone that’s met him says I’m better looking, etc). The key takeaway being the first part of that though; that I put my everything into her and abandoned everything about myself over ten years to have it all thrown in the trash.
So I’m having to move out from the home we’ve shared forever, losing 3 dogs and two cats. The wild thing is that her family loves me so much that they just cosigned and dropped 10k to get me my first home. Which TBH as much as it is a lot of things, one thing it for sure is is terrifying me, I’m so scared I will fall behind or not even make enough to cover all the bills to begin with.