(TikTok screencap)

  • ameancow@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    This post is a great example of why we lost America. And what is spreading across the world right now.

    Hold a goddamn yard sale and talk to your neighbors people, get to know them, PRETEND you care, at least enough so you can exchange phone numbers and watch each other’s places when you take trips or recognize each others lost dogs.

    I promise, it not only gets easier, it becomes a source of pride and comfort knowing the people around you. We have spurned community because it’s more tempting to hide inside and feel miserable and lonely. Losing community was how we lost civics and representation and basic human empathy.

    “whaa but my neighbors are all assholes”

    I don’t care. You should still know their names.

    • bitcrafter@programming.dev
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      6 days ago

      Speak for yourself. I am not hiding inside so I can be miserable and lonely; I just find social interactions to be energy draining, so I need a lot of time in solitude to recharge.

      • ameancow@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        Me too but it didn’t stop me from actually working on that and viewing it as what it is, not an identity quirk but an obstacle towards progress for myself and my community.

          • ameancow@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            “I don’t know how this helps me!” said the karate student doing pushups. “I came here to learn how to not get hurt, what good does hurting myself this way accomplish?”

            • bitcrafter@programming.dev
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              5 days ago

              “Oww! Oww! Oww! My broken arm still hurts!”

              “Stop whining and keep doing those pushups, and you’ll eventually get strong enough that those bones will knit themselves!”

              • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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                5 days ago

                This is more like my son telling me his legs hurt all the time, but he just got back from running around like a maniac, and he’s about to go run around like a maniac. And I’m not even suggesting the pain isn’t real, but sometimes you gotta push through.

                And to bring it back to the example at hand, developing a community is hugely important. I know all of my neighbors and we all hang out and know each other. Half the time, I don’t want to, but sometimes I just do it. Sometimes it’s not great, but sometimes it is. But when we need a hand, I have a pool of people to pick from, and I know I’m in their pool.

                Dehumanizing the morons on the internet forum you frequent is bad, but dehumanizing your neighbors is really bad. The door swings both ways, community is important. Make an effort. I’m sorry it’s hard.

                • bitcrafter@programming.dev
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                  5 days ago

                  Make an effort. I’m sorry it’s hard.

                  Is this the kind of thing that you also say to the people in your neighborhood when trying to build a community, and if so, how do people usually respond to it?

                  • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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                    5 days ago

                    Not every conversation I have with my neighbors is surface level, and sometimes we talk about how just regular life shit can be difficult. It wasn’t sarcasm, I meant it. Make an effort, despite the fact that I understand it’s hard. I get it, it hard for me too at times, but you can’t just shy away from difficult things all the time.

              • ameancow@lemmy.world
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                5 days ago

                I just find social interactions to be energy draining

                My broken arm

                How are these equitable? How is “feeling drained” the same as having a handicap or being physically broken? I don’t actually want an answer, I don’t really care, you’re not going to do my community any good if you feel forced to do something you don’t see the benefit from, but it’s worth remembering that submerging in comfort now usually has a pretty steep cost later. Whether it’s not exercising your body because it hurts, or not exercising your emotional intelligence because it’s uncomfortable or draining.

                This epidemic of de-socialization is artificial, and should be pushed back on by everyone who cares about being a strong, healthy adult in a strong community. It’s very basic stuff that got us through ice-ages, mass extinctions, depressions and violent times of the past.

                • bitcrafter@programming.dev
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                  5 days ago

                  Funny how you go on and on about the importance of connecting with the people around you, but then when someone shows up who is different from you and talks about how they are different, you stop trying to connect and turn incredibly hostile instead.

                  So much for empathy.

                  • ameancow@lemmy.world
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                    5 days ago

                    That you feel attacked is what I want here. I am not here to make peace with my own side. I am pissed at my own side. I want to antagonize you all by telling you the hard shit you don’t wanna hear.

                    One of those hard things is you have all broadly gotten to sheltered, too lazy, too self-entitled and abandoned community. Leftists and progressives broadly are rejecting community because it seems like something “midwest white rednecks” have. The same way we let them have the flag and guns. It’s dumb, we have to exercise, we have to get stronger, we have to get angry.

                    Get mad at me. Hate me. WHATEVER THE FUCK IT TAKES TO SAY “I WILL BE STRONGER” so that when you do talk to your neighbor you don’t feel so fucking drained you have to escape to your dark hidey hole for a whole day.