I definitely feel you there. I used to joke that I was so bad at being a man that I got fired for incompetence. But even having identified as nonbinary for like 10 years now it’s hard not to feel like I’m an imposter that just heard “man bad” one too many times and did a transgender about it.
Mine is supposed to. Idk why it doesn’t sometimes. It’s only supposed to not be blurred if I’m scrolling inside an NSFW community. I’m pretty sure all the posts it’s happened with have been properly marked NSFW. But multiple times I’ve gotten jumpscared with it.
At some point my dumb thembo ass is just going to have to accept that I’ve somehow accidentally found myself in a lesbian relationship. It seems like every other day I scroll past some Yuri manga meme or some other lesbian relationship meme that hits way too close to home. Heck, I feel like half of them are posted by you! xD
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started accidentally info dumping about some nerd shit to my wife only to hear “Yer cuuuuuuuuute” in a voice I can only describe as what I imagine the :3 smiley sounds like.
ETA: I was just thinking back on this more and I just remembered that my wife and I were long distance initially and the second time we ever met in person was when she moved from South Dakota to New York and picked me up in a U-Haul so we could move into our new place… I’m literally living the damn “What does a lesbian bring to the second date?” joke…
Yeah so far I’ve blocked a handful of furry pages and like 1 or 2 just plain old gay ones. Basically I barely want to acknowledge the existence of my own penis. So if I’m scrolling and a post suddenly jumpscares me with a face full of cock, I block.
Meanwhile I mostly browse All and running into the porn is how I know I’ve scrolled too deep. Such a variety of experience this place.
To your point about nonbinary people getting caught up in it. I can’t even tell you at this point how many specifically trans women I’ve had tell me point blank to my face that I’m not actually nonbinary. That my egg still hasn’t fully cracked and the only reason I think I’m nonbinary is because of internalized misogyny. I’m just too scared to be the woman I really am deep inside.
I didn’t figure out I was trans until my mid twenties. I had a whole gender crisis in high school but because my knowledge of gender identities began and ended with full binary MtF/FtM I eventually figured I must just be cis but against the gender norms forced on men and boys. Yeah I’d have crying fits wishing I had been born a girl, but those tended to link back to people bullying me for not being “man enough” or my early career wish of going into childcare or early childhood education and quickly learning that I’d be forever looked at as a predator purely because man alone with children. When I thought about actually being a girl? That didn’t feel right either. I’m sure at least a little bit of that was due to being asexual and not being comfortable with the sexualization inherent in much of the female experience but I didn’t know that at the time.
Anyway it wasn’t until I had that discussion with the woman that eventually became my wife that I learned that nonbinary was even a thing you could be and suddenly I had a word for everything I’d felt since I was like 14. So I understand the impulse to say “but I wish someone had told me sooner” but like… I got “egged” a lot before this. Not a single one heard my story and gave me info on nonbinary identities. They all heard me say “I don’t feel right as a guy, but being a girl didn’t feel right either” and did some variation of “Egg. Internalized transphobia/misogyny. Egg.”
Uh Eternity I think it’s called? Maybe I’ll give Voyager a try.