I would say transphobia absolutely is radical. Of course, by the definition in which it is extreme. Say, for instance, by these definitions:

Departing markedly from the usual or customary; extreme or drastic.

Relating to or advocating fundamental or revolutionary changes in current practices, conditions, or institutions.

The slang form of radical (being a synonym for excellent/wonderful) is merely a single definition, and when talking about politics (I hate to liken transphobia to a “political” issue, but it is heavily intertwined with politics now), its denotation is that of the quoted definitions above.

Thank you for your detailed response! I didn’t get into depth in the post because it wasn’t what I was looking for, but I have been actively suicidal for over a week now, and things have only gotten worse and worse. I understand it’s a place where all my privileges are lost, and honestly, that’s what I need. I already have a go bag of non-restricted items ready to go. I’m not able to work, I’m not able to take care of myself, I’m relapsing on nicotine, alcohol, and cannabis (which I was sober from since New Year’s Day 2024), and I don’t feel safe in my own home (transphobic parents who were severely abusive in my childhood), so it isn’t a place where I feel I can even recover. My medications aren’t doing shit, and I’m not able to see my psychiatrist enough to get it sorted out. I think what I do need is a place where I can fall to pieces for a week. Somewhere I’m not allowed the constant addiction of my phone which only ever triggers my spirals, but never alleviates them. A place where I can be kept safe from hurting myself, because I cannot trust myself to take that job on my own shoulders anymore.

I’ll need to work out insurance details (though my insurance currently has covered all my psychiatric care in full; not even a copay), and I trust my therapist to find the best place for me, and I’d trust her opinion on whether or not I should go. I’ve heard lots of experiences similar to yours online. Although seeing a psychiatrist can range from weekly to daily depending on facility. I’ll look more into the details of stay length, and I do know I need to ask my insurance about that because they may only cover the first X days, but I do already expect it to be expensive. But being in a state where I cannot even care for myself, let alone work, has proven to already be extremely expensive in itself.

I’m not suggesting this, only explaining what I’m currently doing. I’m doing what another commenter referred to as “weight cycling”. I started losing weight in December by starting a restrictive 500 calorie deficit (I calculated my daily expenditure at 1850 calories, so I ate 1350 a day). I stuck to a high protein diet to feel more full from my food. I lost from 150 to 125 over the course of 13 weeks (~2lbs/week) at 5’9". I started my HRT in January, about a month after I started my cut. About halfway through my cut, I started intermittent fasting, so 16 hours without eating each day, which helped me significantly. I did not have cheat days during my cut. I got to a point where I was fairly happy with my waist, but I still had nothing in my thighs, butt, or hips. I’d always planned to maintain for a couple weeks and start gaining again, and I have. Most of it is still going to my waist, so I will be cycling again (and probably will repeat for a long time until my body is consistently storing fat in the right places). I did start exercising halfway through; intense cardio (cycling) for 60+ minutes 4 days/week, and bodyweight abs and glutes exercises 1 day/week. After recalculating my daily expenditure, I bumped my calories up to 1800/day.

I can tell that fat distribution is going to be a struggle for awhile, but it’s hard to say how long. Though I will continue weight cycling throughout my gradual journey through HRT. The reason I’m not specifically suggesting this to you is that it is very difficult to maintain the kind of discipline I had to during my cut, especially with exactly 0 cheat days. Intermittent fasting helped me significantly (and there is lots of research to back up why that is), and I’ll most certainly be doing that during my future cuts. I’ve heard that having consistent daily calories eventually plateaus weight loss, and there is some method out there that helps you split it into different calorie limits for each day of the week that supposedly helps mitigate that? Haven’t tried that myself, so I can’t attest to it, though it may be useful depending on how much you’re looking to lose.

Regardless of what you end up doing, I wish you the best in your journey! I know firsthand how much of a struggle it is, but we’ll get there eventually!

EDIT: As a side note, I lost 5" around my waist from my cut! (Though some of that has come back now that I’m gaining again)

Moot point, as DoorDash driver accounts require a verified driver’s license, comprehensive background check, and a valid bank account set up to deposit payment (though after setting up a direct deposit bank account, you can add alternative cash out options). Haven’t used DoorDash in a while, but UberEats started requiring facial recognition on top of all that, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that were in the DoorDash driver app, too. Hiding IP would do quite literally nothing in this scenario, as you can’t create an account anonymously. Counterfeit IDs would not work as they are verified against state records. Oh, and yet another step, you have to provide proof of auto insurance, which is yet another connection to your identity.

I wouldn’t recommend doing this if you have been prescribed oral estradiol (that is, taking the pill you are prescribed daily in a single sublingual dose). The significantly higher bioavailability of sublingual administration can cause incredibly high spikes, and the significantly shorter half life over oral necessitates taking the estradiol 3-4x daily to maintain (only semi) stable levels. This requires a dosage and schedule adjustment; it is not sufficient to simply take the same dose of oral prescription and start taking it sublingually once daily.

Additionally, the stomach does not destroy estradiol. The reason behind the low bioavailability of oral estradiol (and by extension, also oral progesterone) is that it passes through the liver before entering the bloodstream. The liver processes the estradiol before it enters the bloodstream, resulting in significantly less E2 available in the blood. This also presents an additional long term problem that has been well documented at this point: liver flooding. The high concentration of estradiol entering the liver in a short amount of time puts an incredible amount of strain on the liver, and can cause long term liver damage. This is alleviated through sublingual administration.

The sublingual route has its own pros and cons (mainly the incredibly spiky and unstable hormone levels and requirement of frequent 3-4x doses per day), and it is not advisable to recommend someone take the medication their doctor prescribed them in a manner that is not consistent with their prescription. OP’s prescription was written with the intention of it being taken orally, thus the dosage has been planned for that, not for sublingual.

I took mine sublingually for awhile, but I am now switching to injections, as I am not happy with the dosage frequency. I’ve missed doses because I also struggle with ADHD, and it’s resulted in me feeling really off when my levels get too low. I would never do oral, as it isn’t an effective way of taking estradiol. It’s incredibly inefficient and presents its own health issues. Injections are the most convenient and most stable option (although I haven’t looked too deeply into the implants, those may potentially be more stable, but estradiol cypionate allows me weekly injections that peak at ~175ng/dL and trough at ~135ng/dL, which is very stable inside my target range), as well as being quite cheap and well studied.

TL;DR: Either talk to your doctor about adjusting dosage and scheduling for sublingual administration, or do the due diligence of reading about it. I recommend the meta-analyses from Transfeminine Science. The dosage and scheduling need to be adjusted if switching to sublingual.

Yeah, I personally went the DIY route. I started my transition in August of last year, and started HRT January of this year. I had predicted things were going to get bad pretty fast, so I have avoided being ‘official’ for the time being until I can figure out what to do. I, personally, would like procedures in the future, and the unfortunate reality of that is the fact that my insurance requires a letter from someone actively prescribing and monitoring the progress of HRT for 12 or more months consecutively to cover any of those services, so if I’m gonna have to make a choice in the future of if I’m going to set myself back for years to avoid the potential consequences of being ‘official’, or go to a provider for a prescription so that I can get the necessary letters. Right now, I’m just biding my time while I see how things go (though that won’t stop me from activism).

If you’re in the US, here’s a big list of resources that could help you figure out where you want to go! There are multiple provider finders for gender-affirming care, therapy, financial assistance, and all sorts of stuff. I do recommend seeing a therapist (like a LICSW)! Not only is therapy wonderfully helpful in finding out who you are, but if you’re looking for some types of care further down the line, insurance may require a letter from a qualified professional (sometimes even 2 different ones depending on what you want; I have a therapist and a psychiatrist so I go to them). Getting things documented and tracked would be to your benefit if you ever need a letter.

I wish you luck on your journey!

EDIT: Gender Justice League is based in Washington State, so there will be many resources specific to Washington, but there are also national resources listed that you can search through!

This was already posted here, and the original post has a paywall bypass link

I’ve had it go back and forth my while life (at least that I can remember). I’m my youth, I mostly was male in my dreams, but had the occasional dream where I was a woman (and some dreams that really should have cracked my egg sooner). I realized I was trans about 9 months ago. By “realized”, I mean that I had been thinking about it seriously for 2 and a half years (and had fleeting thoughts long before that), and 9 months ago is when I was finally confident that it was who I am. Since then, I have dreamt of myself as a woman much more often. I’m on hormones, and I don’t dream most nights (always been like that), but its rare for me to have a dream where I’m a man nowadays, despite the fact that I haven’t outwardly transitioned (only among friends and online am I presenting fem because of some life reasons that make it unsafe right now). I spend most of my time alone in my room, and I present fem to myself in the way I behave, in my mannerisms and such. I have spent a lot of time changing my voice, so when I’m alone, I speak to myself in my new voice, even though I never use it with anyone else in person. I’ve very significantly changed the way that I think about myself, and for me, that has affected my dreams significantly. That’s not to say that just because someone else has a different dream experience that they way they think of themselves is differently than I do. Dreams are a really mysterious thing, and everyone has different experiences with them. They aren’t necessarily representative of your real life, or your real beliefs or thoughts, though they can often be influenced by them.

But I think something that has actually had a significant effect on my dreams is how much I’ve been daydreaming since my realization. In daydreams, I’m entirely in control, and I imagine myself as the girl I want to be. I think that has affected my dreams significantly, and it’s definitely influenced my conscious thoughts. I don’t know if it’s related, but now that I’ve gotten used to my voice, my inner monologue has changed. I’ve almost outed myself by accidentally using the “wrong” voice before because of it, but I really think that it’s a lot of little things that have caused my thoughts and dreams to change.

I think it’s going to be different for everyone. Just remember that your brain loves to use the same connections that it has used your entire life. It loves being lazy and ignoring new things when it can get away with it. Your brain controls your dreams, despite it not being conscious control, so it’s likely to use connections from the before times when you are dreaming. That doesn’t change who you are, and it doesn’t make you any less (or any more) valid. That’s just the brain doing it’s thing; falling into patterns established when it was younger because it likes to be lazy about it.

I can’t help with pirating software, your options are going to be heavily limited because most people running Linux would just prefer open source alternatives (like Blender), so it’s far less likely you will find cracked software specifically made for Linux (plus, there is a far smaller userbase). On some quick searching, I did find someone who had issues running Houdini in a VM (for multiple distros), but it worked fine when it was installed natively. I’m not seeing an entry in the WINE database for Houdini, so while you could always try running a Windows version through WINE, given the type of program it is, I highly doubt it would run without issue. I have no recommendations on how to get ahold of a Linux compatible version without a license.

virt-manager is my go-to. There’s also Gnome Boxes, but I’ve never used it myself. virt-manager is the best I’ve tried, personally. Both use KVM, so they should be much more resource efficient

UPDATE: Looks like in the compatibility list, the last letter can sometimes be omitted, so it does look like your model (G513QY) is in fact supported, as G513Q is listed in the supported devices list. That should mean most main functions work.

I can’t find specific listed support for this model through asusctl, but it definitely supports similar models. There is a very good chance everything with asusctl will work out of the box, and if not, open a ticket and they’ll help figure out what would need to be changed to add support. asusctl supports stuff like fan curve control, aura sync (RGB stuff), throttling profiles, and GPU mode (hybrid/integrated/dedicated) switching, all in Linux. There is a GUI frontend for it that comes with it called rog-control-center if you don’t wanna use command line, but it will have fewer features exposed.

You can find info about it at their GitHub:

https://github.com/flukejones/asusctl

UPDATE: Looks like in the compatibility list, the last letter can sometimes be omitted, so it does look like your model (G513QY) is in fact supported, as G513Q is listed in the supported devices list. That should mean most main functions work.

(Sent this update as an extra comment in case your instance doesn’t sync my edit by the time you see this comment)

I think this conclusion is incredibly naïve given the dramatically increased bioavailability and significantly decreased side effects that sublingual administration has over oral estradiol. Flooding the liver through oral administration results in strain that is significantly reduced by sublingual administration, and the increased bioavailability alone accounted for comparable testosterone suppression without an anti-androgen at the same daily dosage. So on top of the decrease in liver damage by moving away from oral administration, this approach also does not account for the side effects of the anti-androgen. The miniscule sample size doesn’t do any favors to this study, either. The supposed “alarming excursions of serum estradiol” is solved simply by adjusting the dosage and spreading it out into more frequent doses throughout the day. It seems they did split the dosage into 4 doses for sublingual administration, but they are providing the same daily dosage despite significantly increased bioavailability of the sublingual route (which also accounts for the testosterone suppression). Additionally, a dosage of only 2mg of estradiol daily via oral administration is quite low for trans women.

I have a lot of problems with the conclusions of this study.

I’d like to link to a much more complete analysis of the sublingual route of administration for estradiol that analyzes a wide variety of sources (including the one linked in this post) for those interested in a more accurate picture of the benefits and shortcomings of sublingual administration:

An Exploration of Sublingual Estradiol as an Alternative to Oral Estradiol in Transfeminine People

While I’m aware that sublingual requires a much lower dosage, and obviously oral has the disadvantage of liver strain from estrogen flooding, did you find data that actually empirically analyzes the feminizing efficacy of oral vs sublingual? Or are you just referring to the difference in dosage?