Maybe so but I am not of such mindset that everything I do is dictated by the wellbeing of the collective

If I want do drugs or drink booze I am going to do it. pay up

Truth to be said my taxes are set up in such a way that they are maybe 1/5 of usual, some pennies because officially I am a farmer for all legal intents and purposes

Apparently I grow some wheat or something, never seen it but hey

Their choice. Wanna be fat? It’s okay you can be fat. Don’t want to be fat but you are still fat? Well it is often what happens.

Does this sound reasonable in any way? It’s really hard to formulate simpler sentences with altered brain by chemistry 🧾

I guess my point is that someone being fat doesn’t involve me in any way or affects me negatively. Like it makes me feel better actually if anything

Because if everyone was fit then it would be nothing special. It would be not an accomplishment at all if you could just take a pill and become fit or smh.

No it requires some special attitude and willpower. Focus, dedication, concentration. The kind of which is required for quitting cigarettes cold turkey and that is another challenge under my belt sorry for boasting a little but I like such things. I like quitting things randomly and feeling the pangs of hunger for that addiction and yet stopping it. It is satisfying to do and a source of certain sense of worth. I don’t even feel hunger for vodka anymore though I must admit that it will never stop to be seen by me as a miraculous substance and a liquid ambrosia

Quitting alcohol is strange in this way that it never stops being alluring but you get used to denying this allure just because of your sheer force of will. The more you deny yourself the stronger your willpower

That I knew but I didn’t know that whole day of physical work feels so good for me. Then I thought of the primal people adhd theories and maybe I need more physical style of life. I like to think that answers to present are in the past

That’s very noble, I am way too big of a snowflake to see stuff that firefighters must see. I think it would mess with my head

Naw I just decided programming is boring as shit and depressing after a decade of time investment, standing desk or not. I know that there are some ex programmers who run farms and such. I just can’t look at screen for 8 hours locked up indoors no more. 12 hours of vigorous physical labour for 3 days that’s something I never thought feels that good. I guess if it wasn’t my own stuff it would feel worse but with working for your own credit with no boss, stranger things were pleasurable

I don’t think I was ever happy programming. It is satisfying to solve programming problems yes but fulfilling? Not at all

When you are renovating for example you also solve many problems and design the space but then also you move around a lot and there are quick physical results and satisfaction from neatly laid floor for example

That’s good but I can’t really be sporty that’s the problem. Like should I really plan my whole life around this instead of programming that will truly kick my ass mentally tbh if I have to sit for so long

Like cutting trees is fun as heck but I can’t really seriously do this every day

I really need to figure out how to wrap my life around these needs while still pursuing intellectual highest paying stuff. I don’t know, bit late for such mind changing now