• Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    There’s a big problem with the “women message first” gimmick, and it’s that they just don’t.

    If they don’t simply let the match expire, you either get a shitty Gif, or something along the lines of “hey.”

    Maybe one in ten will actually send a message that genuinely starts a conversation.

    • fuck_u_spez_in_particular@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      That ratio was much higher for me. I’d say about 70% sent a message. Probably work on the profile, make it more interesting? If that is now really gone I’m not sure whether I ever install that App anymore, it was nice not having to come up with first messages with questionable outcome…

    • john89@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      Maybe it’s you guys, but I never really had this issue.

    • nutsack@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      it would work better if it was "women swipe first’. men can look at and swipe the women who swiped them already. this solves two problems:

      1. women are not seen by anyone they don’t want to be
      2. men don’t need to spend hours swiping hundreds of women

      please give me 1 million dollars

      • Nindelofocho@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Facebook dating kinda has this where you get notified if someone likes you Ironically it works better than any other dating app. The whole swipe til you both match deal is just to keep people paying and using the app for longer

        • nutsack@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          it means men would not spend hours on the app, which means nobody would ever do this

          • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Exactly, Im 50 and Im not rich or particularly good looking. If I was straight I might only see 5 or 6 women on the app that would match with me to begin with and if those didn’t become anything I’d be done with that app. It can’t work

            • nutsack@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              i am the most attractive sexy man in my entire giant city of 23 million people but i still have to swipe 50 girls to get 1 match and i might not even be that interested in her. better to meet girls in real life and follow them around on the tube and insert myself into their personal space 🚀

    • Ledivin@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I loved bumble when I was on it 🤷‍♂️ much, much higher hit rate than any other app

    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Just like with anything, if you put something interesting in your bio, women will use that as conversation starter.

      • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        No, they didn’t. I had plenty in my bio about hobbies, sports etc, very few mentioned it.

    • Fredselfish@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Yeah I can see how women message first will tank a dating app. That fucking stupid. I get it that women get bombarded with messages from guys on dating apps. But guess what all the time I used the apps 0% was I ever messaged by a woman.

      Women don’t chase men because they don’t have too. I knew several women I help set up their dating profiles. They would get a 1000 hits, mostly guys says “hey” or the worse be :hey baby".

      How I realize just how easy and why I never had problems with dating apps. You got to give a woman more then hey and calling them baby is just cringe. Then you get the guys straight up asking for sex or nudes. Anyways point is having the app where the men can’t make a move unless the women contact you? Will not work wtf was she thinking?

      Hell most of them like to just scroll, none of them were interested in making the first move.

      • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        mostly guys says “hey” or the worse be :hey baby"

        Can you perhaps understand why that might be as bad as getting no messages at all? How many dick pictures were mixed in? Many, many, many men use these apps to spam matching with everyone. Those “hi”’s rarely lead to actual connection.

      • jonathan@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        I’m not that conventionally attractive and Bumble worked great for me in my late 30s. People on different platforms are looking for different things. Bumble had its niche and it was very successful there, even if it was not for you like the other apps we’re not for me.