I though of:

Your hardware deserves better.

Also you can give some more realistic ones like my friend:

It just (not) works

  • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    92·
    1 day ago

    “It just works”

    …because that is the state of a mainstream modern distro, and it’s not true of Windows anymore.

    Alternatively “No nagging, no forced online account.”