Trump is to be given the power to rename Greenland 'Red, White and Blueland' under a new bill tabled by a Republican politician.

It is real!

https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398

Rep. Earl L. “Buddy” Carter (R-GA) released the following statement today after introducing a bill authorizing President Trump to acquire Greenland and renaming it Red, White, and Blueland:

“America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. President Trump has correctly identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority, and we will proudly welcome its people to join the freest nation to ever exist when our Negotiator-in-Chief inks this monumental deal.”

      • DontMakeMoreBabies@lemm.eeEnglish
        111·
        2 months ago

        Unfortunately Lemmy.world seems full of the ‘reddit mod’ types that (IMHO) eventually made reddit such a shit hole.

        Maybe they’ll just die off? Probably not - pretty safe in their basements.

        Edit: OOOOOH! let’s see if they ban me for inciting violence or some fucking stupid reason. That’d be on brand.

      • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        5·
        2 months ago

        What did it say? I’m getting really frustrated with the overboard responses from moderators recently. I left reddit in no small part because of this. Pig boy was just the last straw.

        • JoeBigelow@lemmy.caEnglish
          3·
          2 months ago

          I am right now drunkenly trying to get permabanned by these ridiculous mods that prefer civility to real discourse and telling Nazis to get fuck up the ass.

          I’m tired of being civil with these fucks, I’m tired of worrying if me telling a Nazi to get fucked up the ass is going to upset anyone’s snowflake feelings.

          Guys, we’re FUCKED. If you’re not mad, you need to get MAD. FUCKING MAD. THEY’RE STEALING OUR NATION FROM US AND A THIRD OF EVERYONE THINKS ITS AWESOME.

    • radix@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      2 months ago

      I’m sorry, eggs come from female chickens, and any talk of that particular F-word is strictly forbidden.

    • towelie@lemmy.worldEnglish
      10·
      2 months ago

      My partner and I moved into an eco village and are going to buy chickens this summer. Blew my mind to learn a live chicken only costs $75

      • snekerpimp@lemmy.worldEnglish
        18·
        2 months ago

        I can buy chicks from the tractor supply a half mile from my house for $4.99 a piece. They have multiple breeds there too. Been contemplating that investment for awhile…

        • Anne@lemmy.worldEnglish
          10·
          2 months ago

          You should go for it, raising chickens is surprisingly easy and they are a hoot to watch frolicking around your yard.

          However, fuck Tractor Supply for rolling back their DEI initiatives Search for local hatcheries to buy your chicks. Last spring, I bought ten pre-sexed female chicks (which, admittedly comes with the ethical concerns of what they do with the males) of random “designer” breeds for only $95 including shipping.

          • snekerpimp@lemmy.worldEnglish
            7·
            2 months ago

            Everyone in my family is for it, as long as I’m the one that takes care of their end of life… that has been why I haven’t gone through with it yet lol

            • Anne@lemmy.worldEnglish
              9·
              2 months ago

              It is so hard when you lose one of the flock, and foxes, weasels, raccoons, whatever predators are in your area can smell them for miles and will snatch one eventually. But, for all the sobbing beside a pile of feathers I have done, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you go for it!

      • cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.worldEnglish
        8·
        2 months ago

        I get them from the farm lady down the street for like twelve bucks, she even let’s me pick out the one I want, who sold you a single chicken for $75? Shame on them.

        • towelie@lemmy.worldEnglish
          51·
          2 months ago

          I neglected to mention in the comment that the chickens I’m looking at are of the Ayam Cemani breed, which are pure black, including their organs. They’re pretty coveted, so I was surprised that even those are very cheap!

          • cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.worldEnglish
            2·
            2 months ago

            Oh yeah that’s a great deal for one of those hahah

            Have a great day and a wonderful life with your cool bird

            Xx

      • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.eeEnglish
        7·
        2 months ago

        I saw someone on the German equivalent to Craigslist selling a rooster for 5€ today. Said they had three home grown roosters and that’s too many. It’s a full grown rooster. I am both surprised that this is so cheap and that it’s legal to just sell roosters like a second hand iPod.

    • tootoughtoremember@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      2 months ago

      Best I can do is a new global pandemic. But with no public information from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and without working with the World Health Organization.

  • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.worldEnglish
    601·
    2 months ago

    Now they’re just trying to distract us from the actual dangerous shit they’re doing behind the scenes. Don’t fall for it!

    • PaleRider@feddit.ukEnglish
      8·
      2 months ago

      Me too… and I’m not even a Yank.

      It fucking pisses me off so much seeing the thick, orange, cunt-in-chief on our news day after fucking day talking absolute bollocks on the news…

  • FoxyFerengi@lemm.eeEnglish
    39·
    2 months ago

    Red, White, and Blueland

    Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?

  • Cheems@lemmy.worldEnglish
    39·
    2 months ago

    Every other country should unanimously vote to call the USA something stupid since apparently countries can just rename other countries

  • sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.worldEnglish
    33·
    2 months ago

    Cool. Just renamed my apartment “The REAL United States of America”. Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously “New Ohio”. There. See how much that lowered egg prices?

  • Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.worldEnglish
    32·
    2 months ago

    identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority

    This is no joke and he’s going to start taking land. He’s serious about Canada too.

    Fuck everyone in advance who buys the security angle.

    Nazi shit shined with a US flag and it’s ok with the USA.

  • meowmeowbeanz@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    30·
    2 months ago

    The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as “strategic expansion” would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.

    They’ve upgraded from labeling dissenters “anti-American” to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.

    Denmark’s diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.

  • dmention7@lemm.eeEnglish
    27·
    2 months ago

    This has to be ragebait cover for something else, right?

    Like even the dimmest, least self aware, MAGA-hat-wearing dumbass would feel embarrassed to say “Red, White, and Blueland” out loud.

    Right???

    • BrioxorMorbide@lemm.eeEnglish
      10·
      2 months ago

      It’s bait for the media (and everyone else) so they have something funny to feed their audience and can pretend it’s just silly nonsense while ignoring the part that authorizes the “President” to acquire Greenland.

    • Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.worldEnglish
      10·
      2 months ago

      I want to agree, but these people wore diapers for him. The only further absurdity is the war over it for the minerals and arctic claim under the guise of national security.

      It’s rage bait to hide a real enemy to the rest of us.

    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      2 months ago

      This has to be ragebait cover for something else, right?

      It is standard political procedure. Watch for what other bills and policies are being put on the table that would undermine the working and middle class. The point of all this, is to tire the public from all the farcical news, while the real news is behind closed doors being ironed out.

    • شاهد على إبادة@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      11·
      2 months ago

      You think too highly of them, but this is probably rage bait. If they could feel embarrassment they wouldn’t have voted for Trump the first time let alone once more. One way to begin to understand the MAGA mindset is by reading Settlers.

  • Jhex@lemmy.worldEnglish
    24·
    2 months ago

    This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date… combined