I’m completely inept at organizing changes in my life, which means I waste a many weeks being ‘stuck’ when I could be out living/working somewhere interesting/etc. I was watching Top Gear the other day and I realized that what I really need is to have ‘producers’ like they do on the show who take care of the logistics of things so that the protagonist can just sail through. I realize that this doesn’t come for free so I would be willing to join a group where one such plan is made for the whole group, or switch to a job where having someone plan your life (at least the working part) is a requirement of the job. In other words, I am willing to trade some of my sovereignty/independence for this. Any recommendations? (Just for context, I am not in the US and I’m not old.)
Totally understand the desire. I defintely do better when I’m in a situation where I can just deal with stuff in front of me, and someone else takes care of the long term stuff and keeps me accountable. Not sure about jobs, the army comes to mind but has some major downsides. But there’s other similar gigs like the merchant navy and offshore workers, where you’re living and working in a structured environment and then get a long breaks to chill out.
What worked for me was getting a partner who is organised and creates structure. Sometimes I think I miss my freedom and wish I was back being a bachelor… But then I have a few days in the house alone, getting nothing done as the mess builds up around me and not even playing games or anything fun, just failing to live… Then I remember why I traded my independence.
Haha, good point, a partner can fill the hole too and doesn’t limit you to a specific job. This actually worked really well for me when I was trying to start a business with my friend and he took care of the organisational/searching activities while I could focus on the technical side. I’ve considered joining the army and I might actually give it a go a bit later on in life.
This reads very much like the only reason you have a partner is because they clean up after you. Or like the only thing keeping you from leaving them is the fact that they are a maid.
Hah ! No, quite the opposite. I do almost all the cooking and cleaning, because I like making my partner happy. But I can’t find the motivation to do it for myself. When I was single, I would invite friends over for food as often as I could, because I love cooking, and I’d make exciting and challenging things that we’d all enjoy. But if it’s just me I spend a few hours being indicisive and then just eat so much toast I feel sick and feel sad.
The structure my partner provides is someone who expects meals to be at meal times, and will judge me if I just start eating a family sized pack of snacks at 3pm because I’m peckish. Or will be disappointed if I promise to do something then just scroll my phone instead. At the time it annoys me not being free to indulge myself, but when I actually get the chance I realise how little I enjoy it. It’s been really helpful to realise that just because I hate structure and rules and people’s expectations… I hate the goblin I become without them much more.
I don’t think that’s the way they meant it.
Yeah I second the other answer about a personal assistant in conjunction with therapy
Unless you’re very wealthy, you can’t hire someone to functionally be your mother.
What you can do, is sign up for interest groups that meet on a set schedule, then build your routine around that.
For example,
I go bowling with my friend each Sunday. I go out to dinner and meet people every Wednesday. I go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday.
Just like that, I have 4/7 days of my week more or less planned, including working. Everything else radiates around those plans. I go to the barber on Wednesday, because I want to look good for dinner. Saturday is a self care day, because I’m tired from the weeks happenings on tues-thurs.
Friday stays open as a “fuck it we ball” night. Fuck Mondays, I don’t do on mondays.
What you’re looking for here is 110% unrealistic, even if you could afford a personal assistant to keep track of your schedule for you you would still have to have things to do to structure that schedule around.
Tl;dr, in a super loving way, grow up. Or enlist in your countries military, then you don’t have to think about your day at all for years.
Sounds like you might enjoy joining up. A strict day that is organized for you, physical training, and you’re getting paid.
Downside is, depending on where you live you might be sent to kill someone or get killed yourself.
