• macrocarpa@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Asked a girl out on a date. She invited me over to watch a movie with her at her parents house (we were in our late teens). I arrived; her recently deceased family dog and incredibly distressed mother were both in the kitchen. Dog was a really big golden retriever that had been euthanized, and the mom had bought him home? Not sure why? Maybe to bury in the back yard or something? Idk

    Anyway I offered to leave but she was insistent that we watch the movie together, which we did, on the couch, with her mom crying in the next room. Halfway through the movie the mom screams he’s still alive, he’s still alive. Go into the kitchen, she’d gone to move the body and it had expelled air and made some noise. I had to explain, with my best year 12 biology, what had happened. Five minutes of this woman losing her shit with grief out of her beloved companion dying.

    Girl insisted we watch the last 10 minutes of the movie, it finishes with us watching in silence, I get up to leave and said something stupid like hey I’d love to do this again sometime and she says “I have a boyfriend”

    I’m like alright well that’s that then and didn’t put in any more effort. Stupid me, she was hot and I really liked her. Being a dipshit I wrote a song about it, using the three guitar chords I knew, which takes me to act ii…

    …five years later, I’m at a party, exchanging worst first date stories with friends and fellow partygoers including a cute blonde. I wait my turn, tell the story, she laughs her arse off and then goads me into singing the song, accompanying myself poorly on the guitar. I absolutely fucking nail it, everyone is in stitches, sit down next to her and the night goes from there. We end up leaving the party for a walk down to the local beach, made out on the beach, things get frisky, jump in a cab back to my house, in bed together, have drunken sex…which results in a broken condom. She lives literally the other side of town so we have to wait till (a) I’m sober enough to drive and (b) pharmacy is open to get a plan b, then have the most awkward drive back to her house. Get there, offer to walk her to the door, she says no, kisses me goodbye in the car, then texts me…to say she has a boyfriend.

    • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Jesus that story had dips and turns. Man, the teenager saying “I have a boyfriend” must have been so frustrating… obviously really fucked up family dynamics there

  • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Worst date ever: Dude was drunk when I arrived on time. Apparently he arrived at the pub 3 hours earlier to just sit and drink. Claimed to be people watching the whole time.

    He was argumentative, obnoxious and creepy. Even bragged about people he was making uncomfortable in the bar.

    He said he Didn’t have a license to drive… likely because he lost it from drunk driving.

    Anyways I made up an excuse that I had to work early (he insisted to stay and keep drinking) and I left and blocked his contact as soon as I exited the pub.

    On another date the guy I think was homeless and couldn’t afford to go on a date which is not the bad part. We went around town and just went up elevators to look over the city scape. If anything that was a positive for him in that he was being innovative with his situation. The bad part was he was deep into the Rooshv bullshit. he started talking about how clever he was, making sexist comments about men and women and how they should be and making lewd comments about my body.

    As soon as we got to street level from the second building I said I had to go and tried to leave, he clamped a hand around my wrist to stop me but I used a bit of a self defence move to break free and wander into traffic to lose him.

  • ikidd@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    First date with a girl: I open the car door for her when I pick her up. As she gets in, she hooks a hoop earing on the corner of the door and rips it out of her ear. The next 6 hours are getting her through ER to get stitched up.

    Funny enough, I did get a second date and we hung out for about a year after that.

  • Shadow@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    I had one where she obviously wasn’t actually interested and just came for the free food cause she was poor. I hung out for a bit, bought her an extra meal to go and then just left.

      • Shadow@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        Maybe, but I wish it wouldn’t be considered “really nice” and instead just be called basic compassion. Compassion doesn’t seem to be common enough to be a basic thing though 😕

        • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I don’t think manipulating someone with the guise of a relationship is very compassionate. She could at least have been upfront about it.

          • WldFyre@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            Gtfo dude how are you acting more upset than the man that went on the date with her? If he’s being more understanding then maybe you should chill the fuck out

  • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    She was an hour and a half late. I only waited for her because she was responding to my messages, apologized for her tardiness, and said a couple times she’d be there within 20-30 minutes which led to a 90-minute wait). Once she got there, she told me that she was late because she was having some anxiety that day and went to a friend’s to smoke a bowl first. She chainsmoked on the patio, and I sat away from her because I don’t want to smell that while I’m eating. She told me about a terrible book she was writing, with the sort of stupid plot you’d get from r/writingprompts. And then she said she needed to get high again and asked me if I wanted to come to her car with her while she did. I declined and said I was gonna head home. Proceeded to promply never see her again.