Scrolling
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Sleep
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Go back to sleep because can’t think of what to do
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Wake up
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Still can’t think of anything to do ^(cba to wait for inspiration)
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Scrolling
This is what my weekends look like when I fail to find an event to go to in time.
The problem is that most tasks require
- Inspiration, which it usually takes several minutes of staring into the void (fun!) and waiting for an idea to get.
- Structure. I think this is broken in my brain because whenever I need to structure a task it’s super tiring, and that’s why I always revert to scrolling, which is unstructured. In scrolling the need to plan is replaced by an impulsive response to whatever happens to appear on your feed.
What does the diagram even look like for normal people? When do they get inspiration? How do they decide that now is the time to do thing no. xyz? What do I do about it hurting to structure free time activities (I’ve found strategies to navigate cooking etc)? Is there an alternative structureless passtime* to scrolling?
*(I’m actually able to structure when I do things with other people, but there are days when nobody’s around which leaves me helpless)
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I believe I have a similar issue as you. I’ve described it as being caught in a maximization trap. See, I spend all day thinking about the fun things I’ll do when I have free time. However, when I get home, I have a huge amount of difficulty selecting what activity to engage in from my plethora of options. I’m inexplicably terrified of making the “wrong” choice. Like, what if I choose to play Game A, but that only offers 6.9 units of fun per hour, when I could be playing game B, which offers 7.1? So, instead of actually doing anything, I sit down at an intersection of options and have a panic attack about my inability to actually do anything.
I wish I had a silver bullet recommendation for you, but this is an ongoing struggle for me. I try to be cognizant of when I’m starting to fall into the thinking trap of “maximizing fun” and shut it down before it spoils the evening. As others have said, taking notes throughout the day when inspiration does strike, rather than telling myself I’ll remember when I get home does help to some extent. Additionally being open to alternative forms of entertainment helps as well. What I mean is, sometimes when I’m upset with myself for not being able to force myself to just start a game and see if I like it, I’m so hyper fixated on the gaming aspect that I ignore the possibility my body/brain is saying, “probably enough screentime for today, don’t you think?”, and select a book instead. Or go for a walk. Or “meditate” (read as: listen to music while stoned).
Good luck buddy, keep your stick on the ice, and remember, we’re all in this together.
I’ve always known this as “analysis paralysis” and it’s super common in certain fields and certain people. I work with a lot of engineers and this is the bane of my existence some days at work. But I get it, I do the same thing sometimes.
I usually break out of cycles like this when something gets so bad I have to fix it which leads to a short period of hyper productivity that is exhausting but at least things are getting done? I also ask my wife to choose something to do, then I don’t get stuck letting perfect be the enemy of done.
I’m inexplicably terrified of making the “wrong” choice.
Haha, I had this, but with life. I was paralyzed for years. Finally solved it in September by setting mu life up to give me as much flexibility as possible. If I stop liking it here, nothing is (any longet) keeping me from moving cities at a week’s notice.
Just going for a walk often resolves this for me. It often inspires me to do something and gets me into a doing things mode.
Also if it doesn’t, then no harm done. Fresh air and a bit of sun didn’t hurt.
No structures or inspiration needed. Just walk for a bit.
Sitting here on a Sunday evening seeing internet strangers describe my weekend as though they were here for it.
I have a reaction gif for this but don’t know where I saved it.
🤝 we are on the same boat. I think we should appreciate the Internet for enabling us to find each other.
It’s a strange boat, but it’s ours ✌️
Sounds like depression.
If you can, get some professional help.
Get exercise, get proper nutrition, make sure you are socializing, and start journaling.
The thing is, I don’t feel depressed (I have for short periods in my life so I know when I do). And whenever there’s school/a social event I go to it and I’m happy. I only get into this loop at weekends when there’s nothing to do. I could solve this by getting a job at the weekends (ie. again getting someone to structure my time for me). But the problem would persist that I’m unable to structure my free time due to executive dysfunction.
What works best for me is to focus on what I CAN fully control. Taking a hike and having fun is overwhelming, because who knows how I will feel. On the other hand, making the plan to eat my lunch sandwich at the lake (hiking destination) is totally doable.
When there is no list and the weekend starts, I work with implementation intention: Totally do keep scrolling until time X, then make the todo-list, then back to scrolling. Next thing would be to do ONE item from the list at time Y.
It’s similar with the “plan” to sleep at midnight. Better: By midnight, I’ll be setup perfectly so that I could sleep, the rest is not my job: Pyjamas, teeth brushed, room temperature, bed ready. Sometimes that leads to sleep, sometimes it doesn’t, but better than when I don’t even give it a chance, or when I feel pressure to fall asleep.
Fun fact scrolling actually gums up your brain and prevents you from finding something to do. Your brain craves easy dopamine. Deprive it of the dopamine and you’ll find something
