I get what you’re saying. But what you’re saying could also be interpreted as “you’ve suffered in a way we understand, so you’re not a woman anymore, you’re better, you’re one of the men.”

It’s also like a guy being called “one of the gals” by the gals. That’s not welcomed by most men, even if it’s well meant. I don’t want to be one of the gals. I want to be a guy and accepted.

So I just don’t use “dudes”. I use folks. Same concept, infinitely less ambiguity. Words are great like that. You always have options.