I’ve seen people consider even 5’7" as short for some reason so i’m curious if it has happened with someone

  • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    6 hours ago

    I’m 5’6. Yeah. So much. I was rejected like crazy for my height in my teens and early twenties, but I lived in a particularly shitty part of the United States, so I’m not surprised in retrospect. I also dated a ton, so there was a lot of opportunity for rejection. I even remember a woman I was not interested in and had shown absolutely no interest in going out of her way to tell me she would date me if I wasn’t so short.

    I relocated to a much more progressive part of the country and it hasn’t come up once in nearly a decade.

    Edit: I should mention it was only an issue with women, I never heard anything about it from men.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    I’m a tall lady (for my area, though shortest of my siblings), about the average height of guys here, and yeah. Some guys have sounded very accusatory actually - as though I grew tall on purpose to make them feel short. Oddly enough, none of those were literally short guys.

    No big deal, I like my height, shorter is not something I’ve ever wished to be. All 3 of my long term relationships have been with guys about my same height.

  • Crampi@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    I’m guessing you’re a man ?

    I’m 5’4 male and average looking and a bit chubby

    Dude, if you have decent hygiene, are a basic human being and treat people with respect, you will rise above all the other men who are stupid, racist, sexist, entitled pieces of shit

    The bar is set REALLY low

    Really Really low

    Also if someone rejects you for your height consider he/she is doing you a favor by signaling he/she is not mature / has fucked up priorities for a relationship

    • dil@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      People do get rejected for their height lol, ppl are shallow, all woman aren’t saints, what you should be saying is you should avoid anyone that cares about height, theyll remove themselves and its a non issue, ive had girls attracted to me calling me 6 foot be less atteacted to me visibly when I corrected them and said im actually 5 10 no logic in it lol

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        People do get rejected for their height lol

        People also get rejected for not being 300 lbs. Everyone has tastes.

        I think the number of girls out there ACTUALLY rejecting people for height is not as many as you’d think. And good riddance.

    • blarghly@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I will say that this is some significant gaslighting. The bar is by no means “on the ground” if you are a guy - unless maybe your bar for women is also on the ground. Like, could you woo a grossly overweight, extremely insecure woman who works at Walmart and has no hobbies other than complaining about her more successful sister? Yeah, probably. But idk, I personally have standards in both the looks and personality department for women I want to date, and these are not some superficial “shallow” standards - they are standards without which I seriously have no interest whatsoever in spending time with or sleeping with a potential partner.

      So the question is - where is the bar for the women you’d be interested in dating? Like, the cute, athletic, cheerful, intelligent, successful girls who usually don’t break down in tears because they are out of orange juice. And the answer is - higher than you wish it was! Because every other guy also wants to date these women, and while some of those guys are shitty, a lot of them are also jacked, hilarious, kind, emotionally open, rich, and yes, tall! If you want to date these women, you have to work hard to make yourself stand out - getting in better shape, dressing in a way that looks good and expresses your personality, becoming more emotionally open and sociable, having an interesting and fun lifestyle, etc. And then you have to work hard again, because unless you are just an ungodly top shelf man, most women will still not want to date you for some reason, most of which are out of your control, so you will therefore have to shoot your shot with a lot of women until you find the ones who are into you.

      Oh my God, YES!!! WOMEN LIKE TALL GUYS!!! Obviously I don’t mean all women, but a statistical sampling of women would reveal that “being tall” or “being taller than me” is a turn on for a significant majority of women. This doesn’t mean short guys should take the black pill and give up on dating because all women are shallow bitches. But it does mean that dating will be harder if you are a short guy. This isn’t a death knell for your dating life, but it does mean you will need to work harder at the things you do have control over, and it means you’ll get rejected more often for a specific reason outside your control.

      And meanwhile, these women who aren’t into short guys aren’t “immature”, or “shallow”. They are simply staring their preferences and/or requirements. Physical attraction is important, and trying to date someone you aren’t physically attracted to is a bad way to start a relationship. After all, you probably wouldn’t want to date a girl with a face that looks like she got run over by a semi truck. That’s not fair, she can’t control how her face looks, but also, fairness doesn’t matter because you don’t want to date her. Full stop. Terminal value. Life isn’t fair, and it isn’t up to some random person you run into to make it fair for you. That’s a big case of not their problem.

      To summarize: Dating is harder for shorter guys. This is no one’s fault, and no one is being a bad person. Short guys just need to work harder. Sorry.

  • Flickerby@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    I lucked out into being born 5’10, not tall enough to need special clothes, but short enough so the shallow “6ft or nothing” women self filter themselves and I don’t have to deal with them myself. I had a buddy who was 5’4ish who was an absolute disgusting human being but always blamed being alone on his height, also have a buddy who 5’2ish and married to an absolutely wonderful woman

              • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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                22 hours ago

                Why? If dude is gender neutral, then you should be comfortable using the phrase “I’d have sex with that dude”.

                • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world
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                  21 hours ago

                  I’d say it’s a expression that does have gender associations, but it’s not offensive or anything to call a woman dude in the right context. If anything it is usually used as a gesture of camaraderie, in this case because a woman has suffered in a way that men can understand.

            • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              1 day ago

              Can be agender, can be a gender.

              Fuck dudes, hanging with the dudes, “… Duude…”, “sex with dudes”

              Same with bro or man. Also, progressively, defaults shouldn’t be masculine and people shouldn’t push that narrative.

              Like, “I like having sex with multiple dudes at the same time”, but, also, my gf is not a dude, dude.

              But ALSO to complicate things further, sometimes chicks ARE dudes or bros just because they want to be and that’s okay. And the more you think about that sentence the more your brain will hurt.

              I dunno. Just… Don’t be a dickhead and respect people, and it’s probably fine. “Gotta know the rules before you break the rules.”

  • thevoidzero@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    My ex did tell me I’m shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.

    I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we’re happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.

  • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Regularly throughout my life. I’m also 5’7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I’m older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they’re partners are so terrible.

    So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You’ll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.

  • zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    I am 5’4" and though no one has ever outright told me they rejected me because of it directly, it almost certainly is a leading reason I have fewer interested parties. It seems like most women specifically mention height in their requirements. It’s too bad, I’d date a tall woman. Karlach is my favorite.

    Being short helped me grow a personality and learn to be charismatic to overcome my height, and I’ve done okay, but it’d be foolish to say it’s not a huge hurdle in dating.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I think they mention it to weed out the liars. Insecure dudes will show up 6" shorter than advertised. (And woman 100lbs. heavier.)

      I did quite well at online dating and I think it’s largely from having honest pics, and a wide variety of them, and having an amusing write up.