Expected by whom, society? Who cares? You do you, if you don’t want to drink then a polite ‘no thanks I’d rather get coffee’ or whatever is all you need. Anyone who tries to pressure you into drinking after that is an asshole, and why do you care what assholes think?

Give your potential date an option of drinks [if you’re ok with alcohol obviously) or coffee/tea. It let’s them decide what they are comfortable with.

There will be plenty of time as you get to know a person later on that you can meet at a bar for a drink which isn’t and shouldn’t be a big deal.

You can get to first know the person as is with a coffee. Coffee or tea doesnt change a personality. Alcohol can.

If they can’t handle just going for a coffee and get all weirdly defensive about you not having a drink that it’s a red flag.

Alcohol can mask if they are an alcoholic on your first meet. And if they are insistent about getting alcohol as a first meet and make it a big deal like it’s their ‘everything’ that is telling you they are likely an alcoholic. That’s how addicts are about the thing they are addicted to.

Red flags aren’t something you accommodate. It’s something you take as a warning sign.

It’s common, but not expected in the sense that most potential partners would be put off by your choice not to drink. If a date pressures you to drink when you don’t want to, that’s a red flag. Maybe propose something other than a bar if you don’t want to drink.

Why drink if you’re gonna drive?

A large number of people, perhaps even a majority think that it’s perfectly fine to drive after light drinking. The bar industry in the USA has tried to push a narrative that it’s mainly severely impaired drivers who cause crashes and the current DUI thresholds are too low. I used to think that until I went looking for research to back it up and found that there’s a pretty linear response in terms of driving worse as BAC increases. Driving is dangerous enough without any impairment.

The only rules that matter are the ones you and your date agree on and largely revolve around where it is you decide to meet. There’s nothing wrong with either of you having a drink if you’re somewhere that serves alcohol. There’s a lot wrong if either of you go on a bender. There’s also nothing wrong with drinking a soft drink too. Or doing an activity based date rather than a food/drink oriented one.

Just communicate openly with each other before the date with an eye towards your dates feelings/perception of safety.

If you don’t drink, don’t drink.

You can consider it a filter. Anyone who can’t understand you not drinking on a first date probably isn’t compatible with you. Not because of their drinking preferences but because of their unwillingness to respect your choices.

Depends on the setting.

• A restaurant? Maybe a beer or a glass of wine with the food. Individual preference of beverage decides - Doesn’t have to be alcohol.
• A bar? Yup.
• Going for a walk? Now I want to see someone doing shots while strolling in an increasingly wavering line. Handholding encouraged for safety reasons.

The rule is to do what you’re both comfortable with, and see if those things match up. If you’re not up for drinking, then don’t. And recognize that social drinking might be more important to the person you’re interested in.

The answer to this is the same as the answer to most social situations: It depends.

Do you drink now? If not, a first date is probably not the best time to try it out for the first time. If you do drink, but tend to overdo it, pay mind to keep it under control.

Does your date drink? If not, they may not feel comfortable in a bar or other alcohol-centric location.

Do what works for both of you, not what other people enjoy. Choose a location or activity that matches your interests! And, if you suggest something that aligns with what you know about your date, you’re going to score bonus points! If they are outdoorsy, suggest a hike. They like craft beer, suggest a brewery. If they are a gamer, maybe a board game lounge. Anything can be a great first date as long as you both enjoy your time together!

Alcohol is a social lubricant, if you’re a drinker then yes it’s pretty natural to assume a few drinks on a first date would loosen both parties up. Not everyone is a drinker and that’s fine but I don’t think it’s weird at all to want drinks on an occasion where people are probably a bit nervous and awkward. Re: driving, take an uber? The bus?

As an American in his mid 40s, I can say that I’ve never once had alcohol on a first date

Perhaps re-frame the question: is it expected that you should partake of marijuana on the first date?

Really, a date is about getting to know each other, and any assumptions about the suitability of these kinds of social lubricants may indicate a divergence or convergence of cultural norms.

In other words, arranging a to meet at a bar sends a signal well before the “date” actually begins about how you approach life… if such a proposal is accepted then the other party is at least open to you consuming.

There are quite likely a lot of people who will breeze right past this and proceed to get tipsy to provide a cover story for embarrassing mistakes… and every but of this is fodder for judging how well you will get along if there are further dates. Don’t get depressed if the other person decides against future dates… no matter your feelings if they don’t feel likewise then best to drop it early.

The important thing to do is communicate the kind of person you are… forgiving, uptight, loose, teetotaler… and learn what kind of person the other is… preferably without conflict, and with respect. If alcohol fits with your persona, don’t hide it.

Don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Don’t listen to people giving dating advice.

I see a lot of good takes here, and I would venture a guess that it also probably varies by what country one is talking about.