-9. Father was an abusive alcoholic monster who ruined friendships and activities like baseball by fighting with parents early on in life. My mother was/is a workaholic with a tendency to be neglectful of emotions as I got older. I was often left alone to care for my younger brothers. Brothers who left to their own devices became little monsters themselves by falling into drugs and alcohol both before 14.

My childhood ended at 14. I’m 33 now at probably the lowest point of my life. Because, except for my Dad, we still live together. All those years in between 14 and now I learned to cope by reducing myself to nothing. Be quiet. Don’t move. Stay in my room. Don’t be a burden. Unfortunately I’m at two extremes where my I feel safest in that reduced state but everything in me wants to leave. Even if it means living in the streets. That’s my trap. That’s how my childhood has me by the throat even now.

I would rate it a 0 or -1. My therapist would rate it a -9 or -10.

4 with ambivalence. One parent was no good. The other was good but didn’t defend us much.

+3 or so, benign neglect, with unavoidable trauma. My dad died when I was a teenager and that sucked, my mom fell apart, also was diagnosed bipolar and I didn’t enjoy being a child at all, but do honestly believe my mom did her best, and we were fed, housed, schooled, (ETA including sports! She was big on physical fitness, and that is something that absolutely ended up improving my adult life, once I recovered from my own disordered/restrictive eating) and not interfered with much beyond that.

What score would the over-involved helicopter parents of my kids’ friends land on this scale, though? Those kids aren’t spoiled exactly but certainly not neglected.

Damn, that’s a good question. Like a 6 or 7 on this scale, all told? Parents were good, wasn’t spoiled but didn’t want for much, some tension with my dad at times/impact of necessary absences due to military lifestyle, but he was generally a good dude.

Idk - I look back on my childhood fondly more or less.

I wouldn’t say that I was spoiled, but growing up middle class without parental abuse towards myself I think would rank me pretty highly on this. I didn’t realize how privileged I had it until I became an adult. Probably 8/10.

However, my dad was abusive to my mom and a bit to my older sibling. So for my older sibling the score would probably be significantly lower.

The more time passes, the more I realize how much lower the score actually was.

10, hands down. I was (and still am) raised by a single dad. He’s great. He’s non-monogamous/non-committal (or just aloof, you could say), so at home I’ve always had all of his attention to myself. I’m a total daddy’s girl.

The 6 months a year dad was home (sailor) somewhere between a - 5 and a 2. The 6 other a solid 8+ (not because of being spoiled, but just general happiness and joy)

He never hit us, but he verbally abused my mom and sister and was/is just in general a miserable cunt that ruins other people’s days. I’m glad he only retired when my siblings and I were basically out of the house for good.

Tried to get my mom to leave him when we all had the finances to support her, but she stayed with him. Living basically 90% separate lives in the same house. Only hate and despise in that house left.

Hard to rate, like others, but mine probably swung from a 3 to -8.

My parents made sure my siblings and I had a lot of adventures under our belt, so we were often camping or going on small trips or skiing. But we were poor, they were irresponsible alcoholics (with some drugs on the side) who had children far, far too young and didn’t have any coping skills.

The verbal abuse was constant and the physical abuse only happened when my siblings weren’t there, but it was traumatic, in a word.

When I was 8 or 9 years old, my dad was going berserk and threatening all kinds of stuff after breaking a bunch of furniture. So I called the cops. Let’s just say my parents were mad. I was grounded for a while and given many talks about why I was in the wrong, even though I absolutely knew I wasn’t.

I’d say average about -5. Verbal, physical, and emotional abuse was the norm. My mom was fine, but due to the age gap she was functionally more like a big sister. My dad must’ve been going for the high score on the Dark Triad.

School was a fun one; I was regularly held out of school to the point I was nearly kept back multiple times for truancy alone, at one point my grandmother had to threaten to call CPS because I wasn’t even enrolled in school at all. Every day I’d have so many chores that homework was impossible, and that lack of structure kicked my ass in college. Bit of a mindfuck to constantly be told that school is for stupid conformists, and still get punished for bad grades. It’s a good thing I’ve got a great memory and phenomenal test-taking skills, or I never would have passed a single class.

Socialization was fun too. Between frequent moves and the pile of chores on my list, I didn’t have the opportunity to make many friends. Tried to get into Boy Scouts and sports to get some kind of social life, but those were for stupid conformists too. Combine that isolation with my dad’s attempts to turn me into his shadow, I grew up real weird and isolated. People think I’m sociable now, but that required years of focused work. And I’m still pretty weird.

Character and values, ho boy. I wasn’t exaggerating with “Dark Triad high score”. He literally tried to become a Latin American island dictator, it was a lifelong project for him. I was taught the values of doing anything you can get away with, exploiting rules, lying all the time to get what you want, emotional manipulation, and countless other Machiavellian, narcissistic, psychopathic behaviors. Fortunately, my grandparents were much more moral and ethical, so it was a bit easier to deprogram myself on that front.

I won’t even get into all the other little things, but I think anyone from an abusive household can tell you that all the little things can often have a more serious long term effect than the big ones. Daily whoopings suck, but they go away when you move out. Not so much a lifetime of being trained to treat every conversation like a competition.

On the bright side, I’m very resilient now. I joke to people that i never get stressed because my brain doesn’t produce the stress chemical, but really I just coped with so much stress growing up that none of the minor daily stresses register at all.

So yeah, others have definitely had it worse, -5 feels about right.

When it comes to financial stuff, probably a 7/10. I had piano lessons, riding lessons, summer camp, etc. I honestly have a lot of fond memories of all that stuff. When it comes to abuse, probably -7. Lots of physical violence, screaming and yelling, threats to kill my animals, threats to kill me, threats for them to kill themselves, constant criticism about literally everything, and having to walk on eggshells my entire childhood and living in a constant state of extreme stress because I never knew when things would blow up and I would get my ass kicked for something random like not setting the table correctly.

It was certainly mostly negative, but there were hints of spoileriness. I always had the newest Gameboy, but fuck having clean clothes that fit me. I barely talked to my parents after I left their home, at least willingly. My mom passed a few years ago and it put a huge strain on me since there was no one to care for my father, so being a decent human being, I stepped up and tried, but ultimately couldn’t.

He passed earlier this year, and I did what I could to do right by him, even though he didn’t give me the same treatment.

I’m going to say the average would be 7.

I definitely had some -7 days, but by and large it was a good childhood.

I was required to do chores and help out around the house. However, I didn’t have too many “wants” that I couldn’t have.

I’m fairly spoiled among my peers, but not in a “doesn’t have to work, thinks the world revolves around me” way. Always well fed and clothed. Always had a home to live in.

My parents paid for my college, so I graduated without any student loans. They also gave me and my wife the deposit when we bought our house. They continued helping with my kids’ college education, covering half of their expenses as well.

There was some abuse. Honestly, it didn’t amount to more than what just about every kid my age went through. Horrifying today, but run of the mill back then.

Hard to condense this to an integer. There were times of feast and famine. I was given a lot of freedom that I knew most parents my age would gasp at, and I had some perks. That said, I did come from a broken home and I was the product of people who probably shouldn’t have had a kid. They have their own circumstances and issues with their parents as well, so the brokenness really is generational. I’ve done everything in my power to break that pattern and it’s working so far.

I will not say I was spoiled, but I was certainly given too much to eat and not often enough sent outside to play. I was always going to be an oddity and a misfit, so it would have been nice to at least not be fat.

All of that and I still was extremely privileged. The overall number needs a context. If we’re framing this against global childhood, I’m at least a 4. If we’re zooming in to kids in my immediate cohort, probably closer to a -3.