Update: canceled. Thanks for all your thoughts and opinions! I didn’t even mention the Terrifier gifs he’d sent re: our first date. 😅
So I’m about two weeks out of a year-ish long relationship, but even if I wasn’t, I think this guy I’m seeing tonight would give me the willies. I decided to jump back on the horse pretty quickly - that relationship had been fizzling for awhile and I didnt really feel the need to mope on about it.
Anyway, I got onto Facebook dating and have and a few nice dates with a couple guys. I’m supposed to go out for the first time with this guy tonight, and I was really excited at first. We’ve chatted a lot of jokes, memes, silly things already. But I get the sense that he may be a “falls hard and fast” sort of person. He’s made a few sexual innuendos I’ve largely ignored. He’s also already referred to the zero dates we’ve had so far as “dating” and asked if I want kids. When I let him know that I didn’t want any biological children but may be open to adopting at some point and told him why (gestures at the world), he said he wants at least one bio kid. I let him know it was fine to cancel since we’re on different pages there, but he insisted he’s really excited to meet me. Then he said he actually wants two lol.
He’s already texted me this morning a pretty deep-cut picture of me from Facebook with, “Can you judge me for wanting to kiss this girl?” or something like that. I know it was a mistake to let him have my profile so soon, and what’s worse is there was a picture of my house on there I feel like he could reverse image for my address. I’ve deleted that pic, but even feeling like I needed to for this guy probably means I need to not meet him, right? Or am I overreacting? It’s just a movie date, nothing fancy, and I can leave if I’m skeezed, but wanted to get an unbiased take on if my pre-skeeze seems warranted. Maybe I just need to be more clear on him slowing tf down?
You already don’t have a good vibe from him, and life goals sound incompatible. If he made one sexual innuendo and you didn’t respond to it, then he continued doing so he doesn’t respect your boundaries.
Hard pass
You know you are incompatible because of the kids comments.
He doesn’t take your decision to not have kids seriously.
It sounds from this info like he doesn’t respect you and wants sex, so if you want sex with a jerk then there it is.
Also facebook has to be the bottom of the barrel when it comes to dating.
I haven’t used it before now, but anything I was on in the past seems heavily enshittified. I wish I was easier to meet people in the wild!
isn’t facebook in its entirety also enshittified?
Facebook is a porta potty on the last day of a 3-day music and cheese festival
Not sure where you live, but look for hiking date events, bars with single nights, etc. Usually more guys which is great for you. The few I’ve ever gone to were very casual and fun and I’ve made some cool friends.
Good idea!
Facebook dating
I made a decision here and everything that followed reinforced it.
😅 yep, fair
Cancel, you are already on different pages regarding a major relationship subject and he’s digging through your Facebook for kissable pictures.
The first one is a yellow flag and could potentially be worked out.
The second one is a bright red flag that creeps me the fuck out. I can understand looking through someone’s profile to figure out the kind of person you’re about to spend 3 hours in the dark with, but not sending that “Can you judge me for wanting to kiss this girl?”. That’s weird and creepy.
Me digging through Facebook for pictures of kissable people: “Can you blame me for wanting to kiss these people? They’re all so kissable!”
Cancel.
Anyway, what’s Facebook dating?
Facebook got a dating section like 8-10 years ago maybe? Same basic thing as every dating app, but no need to create another profile.
I have never heard of it!
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That’s a toss-up for me. Maybe give it one date and see how it goes?
Pre-skeeze is not unwarranted but not enough info to know if full on skeeze is. If nothing else it would give you a good sense about whether he’s just enthusiastic or whether he’s more attracted to his idealized version of you. That said, if he’s making you uncomfortable, you should make that clear. His response will tell you what you need to know.
This is great advice! Thank you
I’m in agreement. Pre-skeezed vibes are definitely there… But the reasons for them might be something really stupid. Give it a shot, leave it the skeeze persists.
Sounds like he doesn’t respect boundaries if he keeps pressing for kids.
I would drop him, and maybe get a gun or some pepper spray for protection.
Dude sounds needy as heck already. Heck, I’m tired of him and haven’t even met the guy! 😆
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It’s important to be on the same page regarding kids. I’m a bit older now but I’ve seen many relationships fall apart due to this. The other person usually WONT change so if that’s a line in the sand better not even go there.
I don’t see why you should waste your time or his time if you’re on different pages about something as critical about having children.
Is he a Chinese military parade cuz that is a lot of red flags.
