He’s 48, the girl is 17. Yes, their relationship is legal here; legality is not the point, but morality and ethics - I don’t think it’s okay. They’ve been dating for a few months now. I only found out about it recently when he started bringing her home to spend the night (I’m 19 and live with him). Dad’s been widowed since 2023. Her parents know and support this relationship - heard it straight from their mouth when they came to visit. My family believes the girl is a gold digger so she’s the one in the wrong. My dad and I are very close, he’s always been an amazing dad, supports me in every way a person can be supported… I’m queer and being queer in Romania isn’t well received to say the least, but he’s always had my back and I feel safe because of him. Now for him to go and do something like this… I talked to both him and the girl, he says it’s just something that happened (he didn’t go looking for it); she says she loves being spoilt and how “chill” my dad is (she characterized the relationship as a cold day in bed under the warm covers). I don’t really know what I’m looking to hear honestly, but I want to talk about it.
If it’s legal, then you’ve either got to put your morality aside and accept it or remove yourself from the situation. You can’t demand that others alter their behaviour to suit your moral code. There’s a better-than-fair chance that it won’t work out, anyway. She will want to do things that he’s not capable of due to his age, and he will want to do things that she’s not mature enough to process reasonably. If the relationship lasts, then good on them for finding happiness. From a personal point-of-view, I would be weirded out if my dad’s girlfriend was younger than me, too.
This is the right answer. If you have a problem with the law, work to change the law. If they are consensual adults… it’s really their business.
There is nothing morally wrong about an age gap between consenting partners within the bounds of the law. It’s really wild to see how much shame this gets.
I had a very close personal friend describe herself as a “coffin robber”. And I promise they were more than attractive enough to get whomever they wanted within reason. Nor reason to marsh their mallow because it’s not something you personally would do.
I must disagree with that point of your argument. In Nigeria for example, the age of consent for sexual intercourse is 11. Does that mean it would be morally acceptable for OPs dad, were they in Nigeria and not Romania, at 49 to have a sexual relationship with an 11 year old child?
Morality and legality are not the same thing.
In this instance however, if we take OPs dad at face value and it occurred naturally and there’s been no grooming or coersion or external pressure put on the girl then I agree that it’s between two consenting adults. But where does a 17 year old girl and a 49 year old man even meet to have any form of interaction, let alone one that’s evolved into a sexual relationship. I find it hard to believe there wasn’t some level of “courting” where the father has actively persued a relationship with this girl and that raises all sorts of other questions.
edit I’m - > in | me - > be
Were you trying to say “harsh their mellow?”
The fuck…? He’s 48… Not 100 years old. What do you think a 48-year-old is like?
Theres truth in it. Im 37 and I recently lost the ability to stand in crowded and noisy places with people I dont like.
You too huh?