Every time I’m in a mall or restaurant and see a flock of yelling and otherwise poorly behaved kids and their useless parents.
Never be scared to duck out early from something that is not fulfilling. I’ve left group gatherings to go hiking solo because it was more enjoyable.
Nope, though occasionally I will think “this wasn’t the best choice today” (usually because I’m much more tired than I thought I’d be when commiting to going out).
Never but I say “this is why I don’t party for 24+ hours”. A good party or event shouldn’t overstay its welcome as experience quickly declines once everyone tires out and start making mistakes and get into intoxicated/tired arguments.
Every. Single. Time.
I mean posing the question like that is kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, no?
On the other hand, as neurodivergent this hits everytime I leave the house.
Went to a new restaurant after work when I knew it wouldn’t be busy. Just felt lonely but in that moment, that’s pretty much what I thought. It wasn’t a bar place, just a restaurant. I’m introverted af and so I don’t like small talk anyway but yeah. Life gets to you.
Spent my 20s in bars all over the place. I remember several times, sitting in a new place, thinking, “I’ve been here 100 times already.”
Now that I hardly go to bars, my wife and I like to hit a dive now and again. Apparently they don’t have shitty places quite like that in the Philippines. She gets so cute and happy, totally novel experience for her. And if they have karaoke? Game. On.
That feeling of all the bars being so similar was an early prelude to stopping going out all the time for me. I always thought it was weird that I never missed something I spent 5 - 7 days a week doing for over a decade. When the novelty wore off it was so easy to just never go back.
Usually the opposite, maybe branch out and find new friends (don’t have to lose the old ones lol) I could have fun wherever going out with the right people.
Then again we aren’t usually just drinking, that sounds terrible
I’m queer and once had a date with a black woman from the States while living in Dublin, Ireland. She asked me if I could be her local tourist guide. Sure thing!
Walked her all across the shitty overpriced city centre. At some point she asked me:
“Am I the only black person around here?”
Eventually decided to ditch the CC and take a taxi to my local area.
Waltzed into my regular pub holding hands, cuddeling.
The entire place filled with white cis locals went dead silent like in a bad cliche movie.
“Harry, two pints of the black stuff, will ye?”
Peeps realised that at least I was a local and continued minding their own business.
Jeez…
No idea if you already know these places (you probably do) but The Cobblestone, Peader Brown’s, and McDowells are all great pubs that are perfectly happy serving a drink to anyone of any orientation.
Sorry for the bother if you already know.
Those places are lovely, of course I know then - I’m from there :D
Tribal mentality. A lot of people conform to the ‘Hate them… not you though, you’re one of ours’ mindset.
“Fucking hate poofs. Not Barry though, he grew up around here, he’s alright.”
“We should shoot all the [insert racist bollocks here]. Not Abdul who runs the corner shop though, he calls me ‘boss’ when I go in.”
Etc. If only their sense of tribe extended a bit further.
Funny but relevent:
Every. Single. Time.
Yes. I only want to go out to quieter places, where you can hear yourself think and talk: parks (nature in general), libraries, museums, coffee shops, bookstores, quirky mom and pop shops, tiny restaurants, etc.
Otherwise, I’d much rather stay at home.
My old high school friends were all extroverts who loved going out to bars and clubs, drinking heavily (and smoking), and skirt-chasing. That’s what hanging out meant. One day, in my mid-twenties, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I realized “I’m not having any fun with these people at all.” So I ghosted all of them. I feel guilty about it at times, but I had to.
I tend to enjoy it once Im out, it’s just overcoming that inertia to go out that’s hard for me
At most social events like disco, big parties etc, where the goal is wrecking your liver and dance to shitty music, while losing your hearing in the meantime.
Even with some friends, you cannot talk to them because everything is loud or stinks like shitty cigarettes. What’s the point?
Why would you ever go to parties with shitty music? The goal is to go to parties where the djs are good and playing music you like.
The parties with shitty music where everyone is getting shitfaced are for hooking up, that’s the primary goal for those and for the people that attend them. If that’s not your goal you’re obviously not gonna enjoy it.
If you want to go out to dance to good music, there’s also parties for that, where people might drink but no one is getting shitfaced. People might be getting high in other ways, but still, no one is getting shitfaced.
And idk, is it really crazy to understand why human beings, a species that evolved for millions of years to be the most social species outside of insects, would enjoy going to social events…?
You might just be ND, and that’s fine. But it’s really like 0 brain effort to try to understand this.
I literally answered the post question, i don’t know why you got so passionate about this. Read my other comment if you’re curious, i enjoy different social events…
Omg 🤓
This is the THE most terminally online dork response I’ve ever seen.
I mean, i prefer hiking and nature. I also enjoy live performance of groups i listen to, but numb disco with dumb music is an hard pass for me
That’s fine. I even somewhat agree with you. However, acting like you are above doing what millions of people enjoy is some real dork shit.
I try to avoid going out at annoying times - e.g., rush hour, school zones, restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night. That helps a lot.
