I once forgot to turn off a stove burner and burned a hole in an oven mitt

I have a favourite kitchen knife, so it’s plausible

I got drunk eating rum Popsicles and joked “how can I be drunk if I didn’t drink it”

That’s what I’ve theorized for a long time. One of the reasons alcohol is more popular than other drugs is how easy it is to take, that and the fact that it is legal.

I want to know what it’s like in the timeline where Trump was successfully assassinated right before the Republican National Convention

There’s a good chance your dad knows my aunt. She also fell down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories during the pandemic and it’s driven away her family and she doesn’t understand why. One time a bunch of her friends bullied me on Facebook for being pro-vaccine and my Mom said she didn’t know any of those people and my aunt likely met them online through conspiracy bullshit groups

“Think how stupid the average person is, then realize half the people are more stupid than that”- George Carlin

CGPGrey

“No news is good news” depends on the situation. If your current situation is good and you don’t want it to change, then no news is good news. But if say, you’re waiting to hear if you got a job you want, you want news

MUSK IS A SCHMUCK!!!

When I was a kid, it was assumed that boys asked girls to dances and not the other way around. In the recent Pixar series Dream Productions, a tween girl is asked who she’s going to ask to the school dance. It’s now treated as normal for girls to ask boys. She also ends up not going with a date and just going with her friends.

People always portray David as a child when it happened too. The Bible describes him as a youth but it doesn’t say how young. I guess because his brothers were already soldiers and he wasn’t, people figure he was a child. I’d say he was a teenager.

They also tested the thing about toast landing butter side up

And also whether exotic meats taste like chicken

The saying “shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”. No you won’t, the stars are outside the solar system, they’re much further away than the moon

Would have been cool if Nikki Haley were the nominee and there would have been a female president no matter what

I don’t believe it would prevent the holocaust though. If it wasn’t him, it would have been someone else.

Just like now, if it wasn’t Trump, the Heritage Foundation would have found another fuck to carry out their bidding. Fascism is a systemic issue.

When an animal is old and dying, you’re expected to euthanize it. When a human is old and dying, you’re expected to keep them alive as long as possible

If Back to the Future we’re remade today, he’d be going back in time to 1995.

I’d like to see a remake of Back to the Future just so we can have a scene where Doc Brown refuses to believe Donald Trump will be president.

I shouldn’t be reading this thread before bed

Once, when I wasn’t doing so well mentally, I threw a tub stopper at a wall. I never found it again and my apartment has since been thoroughly cleaned numerous times