No not at all why would you think that? Vampires are not real and we certainly do not use the internet.

I have difficulty expressing myself around unfamiliar people. I would hang out with myself because I know myself very well. If I did not know the other me and she did not know me, then we’d probably both assume that the other thinks we’re trash and would not hang out. But if we did then we’d enjoy it.

I think that we should require more humanities courses for STEM degrees. I had to take some english courses but that was about it. Seems like a lot of STEM-lords (particularly the computer ones) need to take a cultural anthropology course and chill out a little. Or philosophy but that risks making them worse.

Jk the men aren’t that polite, they just stand there and stare at me. The rest is true tho

Women fear me. Fish fear me. Men turn their eyes away from me as I walk. No beast dare make a sound in my presence. I am alone on this barren earth.

Fog horn

No, wait, I’m not that old yet right?? Right???

Having the opportunity to buy cake whenever you want, having enough money to buy cake whenever you want, and choosing to not buy cake whenever you want.

Hollow corpses lay strewn about the parking lot. A dark cloud hovers over the once-cheery cheese casino. You hear the screams of the children inside, joyous yet awakened to their thirst for blood. It didn’t have to be this way. The contagion was left to grow for too long and you fear your attempt to cleanse it will only strengthen the pack. They are held here only by their loyalty to their rat god, an entity not known to stay contained for long. Distant thunder rumbles as you cross the threshold. You heft the bottle and give it what may be your final kiss. There’s no turning back now, not for either of you.

Don’t listen to it, don’t try to fight that kid. A lot of people get that idea and the kid is prepared.

Rust is when you run DOOM on 16 billion crabs. You can’t do that in other languages. Just ask Amelia Airheart.

Rust is a programming language designed to run on crabs. It just happens to also run on computers. When rust programmers talk about the borrow checker, that’s something born directly out of having to run on crabs. It’s difficult to get the little guys to cooperate otherwise. And when they talk about rust having good error messages that’s because of the crabs too. The compiler is not just some piece of software, it’s a piece of software being run on crabs and the crabs have some measure of intuition to them. Basically what I’m saying is that carcinization applies to computer hardware.

Rip and tear. Rip and tear until it is done.

(I wouldn’t recommend this but I can’t stop doing it)

I do this when it’s hot because the floor is cool and it makes me cooler by association

I just wasn’t anxious enough already

Width. Most shoes are too narrow and pointy

My computer is old and slow so loading teams is like elder abuse

Carrots. Plain carrots. It helps that I’m too lazy to get anything to dip them in. They are just so convenient.

A group of humans need to pass through a doorway with two doors. The leading human opens one of the doors and passes through the doorway. The next human follows them through the open doorway, and so does the next, and the one after them. The humans bunch up around the one open door, funneling themselves through it rather than opening the other door right beside it.

Then I, the smartest and best of humans, make use of my divine and otherworldly gifts to open the other door that was right there the WHOLE TIME. Truly I am a gift upon the world. Someone should give me chocolates.