There’s a lot of human behavior I don’t understand. Used to make me feel like an alien as a kid.
Like the super unhealthy parasocial relationships people think they have with famous people, and more appalling is the way the media feeds right into it. People acting like it’s normal to obsess over details about celebrities personal lives is very weird to me.
I don’t understand cheating… just break up and then you can fuck who you want. Why does deceiving someone and breaking their trust have to be a part of it? Why is that necessary?
I don’t understand how you can be the richest elongated muskrat in the world, so rich you just doubled your wealth, and not do anything to help people who need it. I don’t know how he can live with himself. And what I really don’t get is that he clearly wants the world to see him as some sort of important amazing brilliant person. So why not do the thing. DO THE THING AND HELP YOU SELFISH FUCK
Don’t even get me started with bigotry. It just does not make sense. Why does someone’s skin pigment effect people so drastically? Why does the gender or sexual orientation of strangers matter? People need to focus on themselves and mind their business. If someone would like to make minding your business the new fad of 2025 I’m here for it.
Top shelf response. I’d happily have a drink at a bar or Cafe with you, and chew the fat.
Wow thanks friend, that’s really nice to hear. I’d be up for it
I don’t understand cheating either, but I come at it from the perspective of a queer polyamorous person. I think many people are capable of loving more than one person, but society tells us monogamy is the only ethical/viable way. My partners are totally fine with me sleeping with other people, and that’s because we have clear and open communication and trust. Why cheat when you can be poly or open?
I don’t understand why relationships are portrayed as such a burden in media. Why do people who don’t trust one another even get into relationships? Why do so many couples seem to hate eachother? Why do so many romance books have such a creepy power imbalance, do people want that? It’s all so confusing, and I’m glad I’m not apart of it.
There are so many heinous people do because of their primal sexual drives that everything just seems so bizarre to me. I have never had the ability to experience such desires that are supposed to be instincts that everyone does. So it’s really odd as an outsider to see what sex does to people.
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Causes them to cheat on others. Why? Why harm people instead of breaking up like you said.
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Causes them to r**e others. Why? Why can’t you just masturbate? Why do you have to harm others to get this?
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Causes them to murder others out of jealousy. Why?
As an alien, I only see the downsides to sex. It’s honestly saddening how common these are.
2 and 3 are violent crimes, and horrid. 1 tho? Really? How about if it’s (hypothetically) cheating on 1 person, whom has cheated multiple times, and lied reptitively about it, to keep doing so? And what if, again very hypotheically, the person who retaliated by cheating did so with say… more than one person, at the same time?
Edgecases are are to be considered with these things, even when definitely not real life, personal experience. 😶
There is always nuance in everything. Didn’t mean to imply that there wasn’t. Actually, my mom was a cheater. But she cheated on her abusive husband that she was afraid to leave. So I didn’t consider it to be immoral. In fact, I was amused when I found out.
In a majority of cheating cases, that’s not how it all plays out. So a majority of times cheating is incredibly immoral and hurtful to the other person. Occasionally it isn’t, but that isn’t the majority of cases.
I definitely agree, dingus. Most cases tend to be kind of sad, and pretty self-centered. Escaping an abusive relationship almost always complicated, and I’m glad for anyone who gets out of them.
Also, I know someone with a cheating proclivity… The dude is loyal and committed, but enjoys the experience, which is unfortunate for all parties involved, really. At least he knows how to avoid the allure, and is happily with someone he loves.
Stonger than I am, because if a person told me to give up almost anything I find enjoyable, I’d tell them to find someone else, no matter the type of relationship. Hedonism is only a treadmill when the payoff decreases, which means one is probably bad at hedonic pursuit.
Your last paragraph reads rather odd to me. Poly relationships exist but involve mutual consent. That’s the reason why cheating in many cases is not at all ok. Because the other party doesn’t consent to it and it’s done in secrecy and deep violation of the person’s trust. It’s ok to have multiple partners or have sex with other people. You can too if you want to! But everyone involved has to agree with that kind of a setup for a relationship. Hiding it and hurting the other person is almost always immoral and wrong, even if it “feels good” to you. There are ways that all parties can consent to make your “feeling good” not hurting or taking advantage of others.
That’s fair. I guess the risk factor would be what does it for most people who enjoy that, which isn’t great. Poly would not be the same I assume, kind of like a TENS unit vs something closer to the “risk of complications” zone, but with trust, instead of current… And I guess the risk of betrayal and ended relationships, in place of being injured or worse.
Sorry for the semi-morbid and sussy analogy.
Taking advantage is always a non-option personally, but but hurting others or vise versa is pretty much always fine tbh, as long as consent has been given… It’s quite a conundrum! The worst best/worst part is that the hurting can be non-physical as well. I sometimes wonder what having a less cooked mind is like, but it’s not easy to imagine.
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I haven’t ever cheated but I’m an armchair human development nerd and I’d assume that there are some things at play like:
- Social narratives that make it seem like there’s only one true love out there for you (assuming the cheating here is only physical and not love).
- There can be shame in divorce or breaking up.
- There’s the sunk cost fallacy of staying with someone because you’ve put so many years into the relationship.
- If there are kids, people can believe (whether it’s true or not) that it’s harmful to the kids to separate
- People compartmentalize and can develop really weird cognitive dissonance where they build two realities and can operate as if the two have nothing to do with each other. It’s hard to explain.
- All the other collateral with separating, like potentially moving, new financials and potential child support/alimony, custody challenges, health insurance through marriage, job shifts, etc. etc.
Before you angrily hit reply, dear reader, I’m not defending or condoning cheating. I’m just trying to answer the sociological question of why it’s a behavior that happens enough that we’re talking about it in this thread.
Devil’s advocate/explainer here:
Parasocial relationships are real, just one-direcrional, and can lead to really unhealthy tendencies, but don’t have to.
Cheating isn’t cute, but can be hot. Hear me out. If cumming became entirely illegal, disallowed, and frowned upon, you can bet your bottom dollar at least ~40% of people would do it more often, just because taboo is the (often fun) flipside of social norms. And social norms suck ass, in a not fun way.
And mega-wealth isn’t a money thing. The pieces of shit get off on power over other people, and use it to generate, or further misery. There isn’t much they seem to care about outside of that.
I’m not about to make a case for bigots though… Fuck that shit lmao.
Celebrity gossip. I’m just not interested in who married who, who’s wearing what, who’s doing who.
And reality TV, but if ratings are any indication, I’m the weird one on that.
Feeling some kind of national pride. You didn’t choose to be born where you were born. Borders change and move, etc. The place my grandparents were born in has changed countries at least 3 times since then.
Being proud of anything you didn’t do or choose is odd to me. Like, there are plenty of things I’m happy about being, but not proud of them, including where I was born, appearance, (except for the parts of it you DO, like fitness or makeup, I can see those are accomplishments), ancestry, heritage. I don’t get national pride unless you are someone making the nation better and are proud of those improvements.
Not putting your fucking shopping cart away. There’s no better way for me to explain it than the shopping cart theory:
Except at Aldi’s.
If you put your shopping cart away at Aldi’s, you probably hate the poor.
Stealing…Saving thisA bit similar to this: leaving a table or waiting place and pushing your chair in.
I’ve never understood why everyone has their phone out recording at large public events. Surely someone is going to post a video of the event and you don’t need to be recording it
The worst is when it’s a highly televised event (e.g. fireworks), so it’s already being recorded in 4k by pros, drones, etc.
Nobody will ever watch your crappy phone recording, including you.
Because I’m not paying $15 for access to the “professional cinematic experience” (aka access to their DRM-infested meh edited cut), or recording it on TV laced with ads and annoying people who love to hear their own opinions every 60 seconds. It’s the same reason people sneak food into movie theaters or steal music. Fucking the man.
I prefer to live special moments with my own eyes instead of staring at a phone screen the entire time.
I realized this a while ago. I was always watching the event through a camera lens, and like you said, it was rarely worth the effort.
Now I’m more likely to forget to take any photos.
I recently went to a live event at night and I noticed how many people didn’t take the time to wipe their lens to avoid giant streaks in the image.
I have a theory that social media makes it hard to put time into just about anything that you might consider art. You get a constant feed of the best quality art that the internet has to offer, so when you do take the extra minute or two to figure out your settings, wipe their lens, and actually try and take a good picture, the chance of taking a good picture is still pretty low because phones still just aren’t that good at taking pictures.
I brought my DSLR to the event and even with the much larger lens, getting enough light was pretty tough. The few pictures I did take on my phone just didn’t really have a good sense of scale due to the lens’s fixed focal length. Don’t even get me started on aspect ratio.
If you spend those few extra minutes and it still doesn’t look like what your friends are posting to their social media because they’re loading it with filters, why not join the crowd and do exactly that. Put in zero effort and let the filter fill in the gap of making it look interesting, even if it doesn’t look good.
What you did do is show all your friends that you did something interesting, which a few hundred to ten thousand or so people might see that for a couple of second before scrolling into the next 400 things they’ll see that day in their feed.
Preferring looks over functionality.
So many things in today’s world are dogshit covered in a pretty wrapper and everyone eats it up. Meanwhile things that actually work well and last get ignored because they’re not pretty.
I’m not saying things can’t be pretty but you should never put form over function.
I STRONGLY believe in the whole, “form follows function”, idea. Something that fulfills is intended purpose well, repeatedly, efficency, etc. is beautiful to me
…And yet, people tend to despise brutalist architecture.
True, just don’t word it like that when you’re telling your partner why you love them.
How people can be hateful to others because of what their skin colour is, what their sex is, or because they have a disability. In the grand scheme of things our lives are short, so why not spend that time on loving people rather than hating them for things beyond their control which harms no one?
The worst discrimination I’ve experienced was by the religious finding out I’m atheist. It’s mind blowing how nasty people can get when they perceive you as an “other” without reason.
I agree, I believe that people fundamentally tend towards peace in the absence of any other forces, and this is something that makes no sense to me aside from the ideas being planted and nurtured in our society to keep us divided and lashing out at each other instead of looking up and rising against those who oppress us.
It makes a lot more sense when you realize how many people literally don’t have empathy. It’s like they’re missing a crucial brain function necessary to being a part of a functioning society
That and greed
Hmmm I think I will go with “fandom”, or being a fan of something. Like, I enjoy concepts. But there’s no universe or product or franchise or sports team or whatever in particular I would consider myself a fan of.
edit hope this counts as behavior lol
I never got plastering logos for whatever brands you love to consume on everything you own. Like buying decals and stickers and shit to put all over your car, laptop, whatever else. Since when do we pay to advertise for brands…?
Being a fan can make you part of a group. Especially great for people without identity. Slap a sticker on that empty personality!
I’m the opposite, if it doesn’t interest me enough for me to know EVERYTHING, then it isn’t very good.
I could tell you so much about the lore and words of: halo, star wars, mass effect, video games from before my time, elder scrolls, D&D, homesick, undertale, STALKER, niche internet topics from my era…
Becoming very invested in watching strangers play games for money.
I used to think this, still kinda do. I get nothing out of watching sports. But just the other day I was talking to a friend who coaches football, she said she likes it because it’s similar to chess. There are near limitless combinations of plays and each…segment, down, ball thing, I don’t fucking know football, is another move. I’m not going to watch football but I appreciate her perspective
Yeah but people don’t dress up in ugly logo covered clothing and face/body paint and spend millions and millions of dollars to build and fill up specialized stadiums with screaming fans to watch strangers play chess.
A game is a game. The actual stakes are basically the same when I play Mario Kart on my couch as when a couple dozen dudes in tights smash into each other in the cold at the sports balls stadium. There’s a winner and non-winners and the outcome means basically nothing to the people spending money to watch and wear their overpriced matching fan attire.
I think they have fun.
You ever go to a sports game? Lol
Wanting expensive designer clothes/accessories.
One, I hate spending money. Two, I’d worry about ruining them too much to ever want to wear/use them. Three, they just generally aren’t comfortable.
Smoking. Let’s see, I could pay a ton of money for something that reeks and damages my health and the health of those around me, that once I start I’ll become addicted to so I’ll struggle to quit even if I want to, or I could, uh, not. Yeah let’s go with not.
As someone who recently quit tobacco let me tell you: cigarettes are amazing! A cup of coffee, a crossword and a good summer morning on a patio is basically heaven. Smoking is cool and makes you look cool too! Everyone should smoke.
Yeah, I’ll believe the addictive qualities for sure. However “cool” has not been true for years. I’ll never forget in college where some friends would encourage me to join them outside “where the cool people are smoking”, yet it always seemed like 2-3 people outside alone not enjoying a party or whatever. At least I was there because I’m an introvert and the party is exhausting, not fooling myself about thinking it cool.
Also, vaping. Somehow, vaping seems even dumber than smoking.
Thinking that things they don’t enjoy should not be enjoyed by anyone else, and complaining bitterly about people enjoying those things.
Yeah similarly, when a pastime or hobby is shared among a large group in society or culturally or whatever, someone who doesn’t enjoy or partake in said hobby is seen as weird (or worse).
Case in point: I’m a dude who looks like I should watch sports. I hate sports spectating. Having the “why don’t you watch football” conversation comes up annoyingly too often.
lol I hear you. I never ask anybody, “Why don’t you have a 3d printer?”
Yes. This and its inverse make no sense. I love spicy food. Do I need everyone else in the world to like it, or to have my musical taste or disdain for straight hair? NO. You do you, why would what you like have anything to do with what I like? Why would I care if you hate what I like? It has no bearing on my enjoyment.
Wanting to be popular. Wanting to know famous people or worshipping them. Dressing the latest fashion. Participating is all the fads.
Hate. Like I don’t understand how someone can hate others for the dumbest shit like race or sexuality or gender. Like, I don’t truly hate people easily, and when I do hate them, it’s because of their actions and/or words. Hating things/people is so exhausting. Idk how people can carry that shit around all the time.
I’ve had this struggle when writing a story, and writing racist villains; because to do so, you DO need to understand the broken logic in their minds, that still allows them to look sane for most of their lives.
They’re working off of patterns they’ve seen at various points, as well as learned wisdom from some people they’ve depended on and trusted.
In my day, there are people/movements that I hate, and I’d say very rightly so. I imagine the same things that make me feel that’s a “righteous/vengeful” hate look the same in their minds.
The trick is not to write racist villains, you need to write villains with targeted cultural hatreds, that way, even people who disagree can see why.
A group of humans need to pass through a doorway with two doors. The leading human opens one of the doors and passes through the doorway. The next human follows them through the open doorway, and so does the next, and the one after them. The humans bunch up around the one open door, funneling themselves through it rather than opening the other door right beside it.
Then I, the smartest and best of humans, make use of my divine and otherworldly gifts to open the other door that was right there the WHOLE TIME. Truly I am a gift upon the world. Someone should give me chocolates.
was leaving an event somewhere once, don’t remember what/where, but everyone was holding the door for the next person so it didn’t slam on them, very slow progression. I finally got up to it and kicked down the stopper. people can be very unobservant or dumb, sometimes both.
Sometimes that door is locked and not everyone wants to bother with checking
