It finally happened. I lost so much weight that my tungsten-carbide wedding band doesn’t fit anymore. It’s definitely a ‘masculine’ design and felt like a good idea at the time. But since that material can’t be resized and all the add-on sizing options are still too big, I’m at a loss for what to do. My spouse and I are still absolutely happily married and intend to remain that way. If anything, I think we’ve grown closer since I came out! I don’t want to simply discard something that means so much to us both. I was hoping to hold out on buying a new one until my transition got to a point to renew our vows with my new name (and in a gorgeous dress!) but I’m curious if anyone else has been through this before? I was considering a necklace to hold onto it until then. I was about to type that I didn’t want others to get the wrong impression about us (me with no ring, my spouse with the engagement ring and the band) out together but then I realized we’re likely going to get awkward looks for a while anyway.
So, what do others think? What have you done if you’ve reached this point? Am I overthinking this?
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I wandered in from All. As a cishet woman I’ve worn my wedding ring on a sterling silver rope chain both times I was pregnant, and I wore my husband’s on the same chain when he was in ICU for a few months and couldn’t wear it. It kept it visible and close to my heart. A silver chain isn’t terribly expensive and can be worn alone when you don’t need it for the ring.
I’m sorry you had to go through that! I understand the sentiment of keeping it visible but close, which is why a necklace was my first thought as well. I might do that anyway to keep the original close when we get new rings. Thank you!
Can’t comment on that specifically but fwiw i wore just a plain silicone ring during our engagement. You can get them in various widths to make them more or less masculine. They are typically a fraction the cost of your tungsten ring.
Might be worth looking into if you still want a ring of some kind on your finger for now. Just search “silicon ring for her” in Amazon for some ideas.
I do like the necklace idea too though
You and Telorand both suggesting silicone sent me looking. It might be worth grabbing a “his and hers” set so I also have something to wear for now in boymode. I still haven’t told anyone but my spouse that I know in person so I need to stay under the radar while the hormones do their thing. This might not be a terrible idea. Thanks!
This might be dumb, but get some sort of clear lacquer that you can paint on in layers to the inside as your finger’s radius shrinks.
Pre-transition, I just wore cheap silicone rings because they were pragmatic.
As soon as my egg cracked, before I was passing or on HRT, my partner put a ring on my finger and had it resized to fit my fingers. Around 8 months-ish on HRT had to get it resized again when my fingers became slimmer.
Honestly, I think it’s mostly a matter of money, your gender presentation, and how much this matters to you and your partner.
I was fortunate that my spouse already had a ring on hand, I was already socially transitioned and presenting as fem full time, and I was fortunate enough to be able to afford the resizing - so it all worked out for me.
If I hadn’t fully socially transitioned, I might have only worn the ring in certain situations.
If I didn’t have the money, I might have waited and saved up money for just one resizing.
If we didn’t already have a ring, we might have waited and saved up for a ring.
It’s up to you and your circumstances, though - there is no one way to handle this. 😊
My wedding band (men’s) is white gold but painfully plain. My wife and I agreed we would just trade it in (I’ve no real attachment to it). We are going to go get matching bands with our birthstones (turquoise and opal). I’m looking for something in solid silver, intricate with natural elements, possibly elvish.
keep the ring and wear it on a necklace? bonus points if it’s a choker and just a little tight.
obviously not for everyone, but it’s an idea.
also also, congrats on your lasting relationship and good luck with your transition!
Thanks! I’m going to need to work hard on this.
As a lost lemming stumbling over this post, I wonder if it would work as a circle in the center of a necklace? I wore mine on a necklace when they stopped fitting on my finger, and I made a pretty chain to attach them too.
