I really like the way you reframed things. I also experienced repeated setbacks to getting bottom surgery, I know how devastating it is. Taking the time to shift your focus to areas of your life that do make you happy is really important.

A dean being fired over the gender unicorn. What a time to be alive.

You are absolutely welcome to post here. :)

I appreciate the sentiment you’re expressing here. I work over the phone and get misgendered pretty well round the clock every day. I even give my pronouns as part of my opening, like “Thank you for calling, this is LadyAutumn speaking, my pronouns are she/her, how can I help?” My voice does not pass though so like. ~90% of the time I get misgendered anyway. It’s nice when I’m practicing my voice and do get gendered correctly more often, but its a lot of work to maintain that and I have long struggled with vocal training.

Its hard to explain to people the mental toll of being misgendered for 9 hours a day every working day. It makes you dissociate a lot. I usually dont bother correcting people unless they seem intent on misgendering me every single sentence. But, yeah. It wears you down. It messes with your confidence a lot. Like sometimes I look in the mirror after and it feels a little weird remembering oh yeah I actually do like who I am and like the way I look. Like being misgendered so consistently for so long just makes my brain foggy and makes me forget all the things I do like about myself. I manage alright and take care of myself, but somedays are still pretty hard.

People lack empathy of this experience a lot. I dont hate the people who unintentionally misgender me. I don’t blame them at all for the most part. I just assume they weren’t listening when I gave my pronouns or forgot or whatever. But whether its intentional or not doesn’t really make a huge huge difference in how it makes me feel? It’s like someone constantly calling attention to your worst insecurity that makes you feel powerfully misunderstood and uncomfortable. Thats going to hurt, whether the person doing so is doing it intentionally or not. I relate a lot to the way women with fertility issues describe feeling when asked about when theyre having kids. Like its not exactly the same feeling, but its that same thing with a really bad insecurity being called attention to by someone who is well meaning and oblivious. Doesn’t really hurt any less than if they were doing so deliberately.

Tried a few out before landing on my name. I went by another name for a couple months that just never really felt right. Then I found my name and every single person in my life was like “it’s perfectly you”. People still say that after they’ve known me for a while haha. I’m pretty sure I found the actual name just by scrolling through a name list. It jumped out at me right away and I was really really happy when I told my friends and they first started using the name for me.

I’ve read conflicting studies on this. Breast cancer doesnt have a single root cause, and several of the genes associated with developing breast cancer can be inherited by people who have a Y chromosome (which has been shown to significantly increase the risk). I believe current guidance after a trans woman has been on HRT for 3 years or more is to treat their risk profile as being equivalent to a cis woman with their genetics and family history.

My mother died of stage 4 breast cancer. So did my great grandmother, and one of my aunts. Consequently I have been getting annual checks on the recommendation of my doctors.

Studies have also shown that family history of breast cancer can and does translate to increased risk for cis men (still comparatively much lower than for cis women, but nontheless still present). Needless to say, if a first degree relation to you has had breast cancer it should be treated as a serious risk regardless of your assigned sex, its just harder to detect early if you have breast tissue. Which is why getting checked is important.

deleted by creator

Yeah. Increasingly reliable satellite internet really killed their bottom line over the last few years.

I’m sorry you lost access to your support group. Youre absolutely welcome to participate in this community but the culture fostered in that community is not accepted here. The language used in that community is not permitted in this community.

This community is also explicitly supportive of all gender diverse people, including non-binary and agender people. I know that 4tran has a long history of transmedicalism and demonization of non-binary people. That is categorically unacceptable here and will result in moderator action.

If you can abide by that, you’re absolutely welcome here. This space is for all transfeminine people, and we work hard to maintain its safety and accessibility for everyone.

Is radical a bad word? Its use is generally associated with revolutionary politics. The usage of the term by TERFs stems from second wave feminist theory. They have to specify that they are Trans Exclusionary to distinguish them from radical feminists as a whole, who are not necessarily Trans exclusionary.

Its working, horrifyingly. In several communities lately ive seen moderators start to treat violent racism and antisemitism as personal beliefs that do not on their own necessitate banning. This in private progressive leaning communities too. Eugencist christian white nationalism is becoming a normal tolerated ideology to have.

Instagram is especially bad too. I see a lot of people talking about Twitter, but not enough about Instagram.

Ive had incredible luck thrifting. I usually go once every 2 weeks and only take items I really like. Early on I stuck to sports bras cause theyre more forgiving as you grow, so they last a bit longer.

A line silhouettes tend to look good when your hips aren’t super wide, as your fat moves around tho your hips will fill out. More than anything have fun with it. Try new clothes outside your comfort zone. Get lots of accessories too!! Putting together an outfit with accessories is so much fun. Gives you the opportunity to further express yourself 😊

Not OP, but i can say 2 years post op it feels weird to think I used to have something there lol

Congratulations Dandelion, so happy for you 😊

If by personal and intimate you meant about bodies or relationships or surgeries or sex or, I mean really anything related to being transfeminine then yeah you can absolutely discuss those things here. Adult content should be labeled as NSFW, the usage of slurs in titles should be avoided, but as long as the rules are being followed thats all that matters.

I also experienced extreme bottom dysphoria. It was completely disruptive my whole life. It definitely got worse the longer I was out as trans. There were so many things I wanted to do that I didnt feel like I could. I’m very inclined towards feminine clothes and presentation and I pretty much never could wear anything explicitly fem. I always wore baggy clothes, hoodies and jeans in the middle of summer kinda vibe. It was awful genuinely I hated my body and wanted no one to ever see me. I didnt swim for over a decade. I felt out of place among other women, I felt repulsed with intimacy and avoided it as much as possible. I got misgendered a lot and just sort of accepted it. I was very unhappy most of the time.

I dont have any easy answers. It nearly killed me. I coped badly, to make a long story short. I waited a long time for surgery and getting it saved my life. Its been over 2 years now. I’m almost an entirely different person. Its hard to really summarize all the changes but I actually like who I am today. I love my body in spite of its flaws and I actually feel free to be myself, something I never did before. I’m better adjusted emotionally and much better at managing my mental health. I’m not entirely free of dysphoria now, but bottom dysphoria was far and away the worst for me.

The next 6 months before your surgery date will feel like the longest thing ever and also retrospectively like the blink of an eye. A light at the end of the tunnel exists. I’m very excited for you to get there. Be patient with yourself and focus on getting through each day.

They openly deride empathy itself. They only use this language to fuel the media cycle and keep their rabid indoctrinated followers occupied. Its all misdirection. They are hellbent on carrying out their eugenicist fantasies and inevitably they will try to do so.

I wonder how far away we are from bans on hiring racial minorities, women and queer people. Some of the first acts against minorities the Nazis carried out were bans on working for the government and bans on working in education. Eventually the Trumpists will get to that point. Fascists are neither creative nor original. We know what they want and we know what they’re going to do, it’s all a matter of timing now.

It looks about the same as any vagina really. I do have a clitoral hood, but I prefer stimulation over it rather than direct stimulation personally. It can also be stimulated somewhat from the inside.

It feels also about the same as any other vagina lol. Like it’s kinda hard to get much of a specific texture profile from it tbh. Fleshy I suppose.

I had penile inversion vaginoplasty and I self lubricate. My surgeon preserves the bulbourethral glands during the surgery for this reason. Those are the parts that create pre-ejaculate. Which are homologous to the Bartholin’s glands, which help lubricate the vagina for cis women. So yeah if things are heated I do get wet lol.

Having one is pretty normal at this point 2 years post op. It was overall probably the single most incredible event of my entire life and my whole life changed a lot after. I used to suffer a lot from bottom dysphoria. To the point that I struggled to function a lot of the time. Getting surgery was the best choice I’ve ever made for myself and yeah I am extremely happy with the outcome.