Hi y’all! Do you have any advice on how to start building a wardrobe of femme clothing?
I’m starting to feel braver and want to start wearing girl clothes out in public more. The problem is 1) I have next to no girl clothes, just the few affirming things I wear around the house, and 2) I am overwhelmed by the amount of options I have and don’t know where to start.
Historically, I’ve dressed more workwear (flannel, denim, leather) in the winter, and more normcore (solid color tees and chino shorts) in the summer.
I’m not sure how to translate those into feminine clothes, if I even want to. I really more so want to take the opportunity to find a more expressive style (I always disliked how few options men are given when it comes to fashion), but I still feel like I need a few kind of “core” outfits that I can easily mix and match, like a capsule wardrobe.
I also expect there to be an awkward phase as my body changes and I start to figure out my style, but I’d prefer to not make any glaring faux pas either.
Any advice is greatly appreciated 😊
I am on the same journey! Let me share my tips.
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Thrifting / second-hand clothes are a great starting point. It allows you to dip your toes into femme clothes shopping without blowing a hole in your budget.
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Shop with a close friend. I personally have a cis female helping me out when I shop in person for femme clothes. Getting real-time feedback helps soooo much!
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Be cautious about size options from online retailers. A Large shirt from company X may be different than a Large shirt from company Z. This is a known “feature” of femme clothing.
Dont worry too much about a specific style. Find clothes that resonate and make you happy and confident.
Seconding thrift stores. That’s really where I’ve got my hands on most of my clothes. It’s cheap, cheap enough that if you don’t like it it’s no big deal just return or donate it. And quite often you find really cool stuff. If you live in an area that is poverty stricken it might be tough at those shops, I go to a more well off part of town and thrift there. You’d be amazed at what well off women will donate. Good luck on your journey!
I hear this a lot, but what qualifies as a “thrift” store in this case? Are we suggesting places like a Goodwill, or something else? I live in a pretty rural area, but I can get to a moderate city occasionally. My area is pretty much only Goodwill or WalMart/Target. What is everyone seeing in their minds when they hear “thrift store”?
I go to goodwill most times. It works for me
Goodwill is ubiquitous but if you’re in America, rural areas should have church thrift shops or animal shelter thrift shops. They rely on donations to raise money for good causes and while they won’t have as much inventory, they are extremely motivated sellers. Goodwill, Value Village and Savers are big corporate chains with a lot of stuff and variety, but sometimes you can’t beat a little church thrift shop for a bargain.
Thanks :) I love going to the Goodwills in the nicer parts of town, you can find some great stuff there! There are a few near me that are usually good bets
Thanks for the tips! It sounds like a thrifting day is in store for me soon :)
Are there any particular styles I should try to avoid? I guess I’m just worried about giving away that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing lol
I have no clue what i am doing either, i go with the flow. Lately i habe been picking out tops that make me feel confident and accentuate my figure. I like to be colourful too, greens and oranges galore!
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If you don’t know what you like yet, or what your style is, try going on FB marketplace or Craigslist and look for a closet clean out. This is the season for yard sales too. Try to find someone listing things in roughly your size (they sometimes will say “lots of XL clothes!” ) and then you can pick up giant bags or whole bins of random clothes for not even 10 dollars.
If you score a haul or two like that and get a chance to play dress up and experiment, you can figure out what you like on your body. What kind of necklines do you feel are flattering, what silhouettes, what length skirts or sleeves etc. Once you have a better idea of what you actually like on you, you can move on to shopping at thrift stores. There, you can keep an eye out for pieces that fit the profile of clothing you decided you liked. Not all thrift stores let you try on clothes and you might not feel confident enough to throw it on over what you’re wearing, so be prepared to buy, try, and maybe return.
Try to go for higher quality items made of natural materials. You should aim for as little polyester, nylon, acrylic or spandex as possible. Look for cotton, linen, and wool, rayon and viscose are ok too. Feel the clothes and see if they have weight to the fabric, and structure to them. Good quality clothing has construction and patterning that makes them fit a body better than just a sack or a rectangle. Look for clothes with linings and complexity.
Hopefully you will be able to build a starter wardrobe of some good core pieces that you love!
Ive had incredible luck thrifting. I usually go once every 2 weeks and only take items I really like. Early on I stuck to sports bras cause theyre more forgiving as you grow, so they last a bit longer.
A line silhouettes tend to look good when your hips aren’t super wide, as your fat moves around tho your hips will fill out. More than anything have fun with it. Try new clothes outside your comfort zone. Get lots of accessories too!! Putting together an outfit with accessories is so much fun. Gives you the opportunity to further express yourself 😊
I’m taking this same journey right now as well. I was in a similar situation as you (mostly plain shirts and hiking pants, think “Eddie Bauer”). I also really want to branch out to more interesting styles. The one thing I’ve learned from my partner is that layering is pretty much essential unless it’s a scorching hot day. You can also seriously consider the same sources for your current clothing (Eddie Bauer’s Women’s section is not half bad for comfortable things that fit well, if a bit boring). You should consider that bottoms are possibly going to be tighter in some areas and looser in others unless or until hormones or surgery happen. I have a wide and sturdy ribcage, so tops all feel like they’re too tight, especially at the armpits. Sizing up is an option, but so are looser cuts and stretchy materials. I find that I like a tighter base top and something loose to go over it like a hoodie, wrap, or shrug.
Experimentation is the only way to really learn anything. You can always try to abuse the Amazon “try 5 things out” nonsense, or find a shop that’s trans-affirming or go to the next city over if you’re shy and just try on everything until you find what you like. I have known people, especially my mother, to spend an entire day trying on clothing and buy one or two items. Or a dozen! I actually find the shopping and discovery part of this to be fun and a little relaxing. Think of it less as a chore or a scary task and more like a way to explore yourself and your identity, then make a fun day out of it!
