Well, the egg “cracked” I guess. After 24 years, I’ve realized that I’m probably NB or trans. Looking back, I think that for a long while now, there’s been something in the back of my mind. Like a seed of doubt. I can think of any number of things that could’ve contributed to it. And it’s weird to me because I haven’t really felt any dysphoria, at least I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. But I know that there’s something off.

But anyway, over last weekend I was thinking about it a lot and after I came to that conclusion it was like this buzzing in my head that I hadn’t realized was there went quiet. And now that I know that… I have no fucking clue what happens next. The only people that know are close friends and I will absolutely not be letting anyone else who knows me know. HRT may be a very long ways (potentially 2 years, haven’t looked into it too much yet) away depending on a pending federal job.

  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    5·
    12 days ago

    +1 to Gender Dysphoria Bible and everything said above.

    If you decide to take HRT (highly recommend, btw), I suggest you educate yourself, read: https://transfemscience.org/articles/transfem-intro/

    Unfortunately doctors are pretty clueless about trans medicine, and you have to be educated and be ready to advocate for yourself (and change doctors if necessary).

    I don’t recommend oral HRT, injections are more effective - but read that transfem science intro and it should help you make informed decisions.

      • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        12 days ago

        honestly same, I have needle phobia, e.g. I nearly pass out when getting blood drawn and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to actually mentally put a needle into my body.

        But I learned ways to make it work - I inject subcutaneously instead of IM, so I use tiny needles that usually cause no pain at all. I learned a ton of different tricks to make injecting mentally doable for me and to reduce chances of passing out, and safe in case I do pass out. (Let me know if you want me to share those with you, I have a whole write-up about it.)

        I won’t lie - it was difficult for me at first. But it also got much easier than I ever thought it would, and now it’s pretty much trivial.

        I still decided injecting was worth it compared to other methods, and I stand by that in my results. I have had better feminization than trans women I know IRL who started HRT around the same time who just use pills.

        My endo agrees that pills are a terrible way to take estrogen, she points out that they cause massive spikes and dips throughout the day rather than maintaining a steady blood level. Also, like 80% of the estrogen is eliminated by the liver and doesn’t get into the blood-stream, so it’s just inefficient and an unnecessary tax on your liver (though I don’t think bioidentical oral estrogen is particularly risky, either).

        EDIT: if not pills or injections, transdermal is an option, but I consider it a better option post surgery, since I found I needed higher doses when I still had testes. In the U.S. you generally have to be on HRT for a year before they’ll do an orchiectomy (I wanted one immediately, but was gatekept for a year, and I got an orchi ASAP - literally within weeks of my 1 year HRT anniversary, highly recommend it - was great).

        Bicalutamide didn’t work for me as an anti-androgen, I suspect because it has weak impact on the central nervous system and wasn’t blocking biochemical dysphoria in my brain, which was the main reason I personally was on HRT.

        I never tried spiro but didn’t even want to try, it’s a very weak anti-androgen and has side effects and some risks, I just never thought it was a good idea when monotherapy was an option, which is easier with injections and not as feasible or reliable with transdermal routes (patches, gel).