Oh wow. This is in the same vein as someone secretly spitting in your food. A more appropriate equivalent is continuing your beer with water. Why ruin a thing someone uses and expects to be normal? Maybe they don’t notice it now, but maybe they’ll have to switch (needlessly!) brands thinking it got worse or just simply doesn’t work, and it’s a whole process trying out what works for your hair. Why throw that, intentionally, at someone?
Yeah, it’s a hard balance to find, trying to maintain your own mental wellbeing, career, social relations like friends and family, household, money with all that comes with it, and then also try and bring up a small human in as healthy and as encouraging an environment as possible.
Sometimes you just have too much going on, especially in today’s world, so I also do get the occasional breaks given by some screen time.
But it can also be productive, it doesn’t have to be mindless and meaningless content. But it’s sort of understandable to default to anything at all that can give them something to do for a moment, if you need to.
But I’m not much of a parent either, in the way that I don’t really know what I am doing. I can’t imagine most do either.
4-5 books a night?
Jesus
I mean good for you and them, but that is wild
Everyone’s different, though, as you said, so for sure work with what you have and try and be the best you can for them, so that they may be the best they can
I feel surprisingly insecure in my own parenting style and capabilities, if it is normal for such a young kid to even think about some of that stuff. When I was 5yo, I was eating pebbles outside and climbing on trees thinking I’d surely get to clouds this way.
Well, the amount of comments just going with the premise of a 5yo kid actually understanding logical operators or circuits is a little bit concerning, seeing as mine can barely do the car puzzles with the arrow commands, and they are 6.
Uh oh.
If you mean self-hosting email, then good luck.
It’s a lottery with the IP and even the IP space you get, whether anyone will actually receive your emails.
I hosted my own for a few years, but god fed up telling everyone to dig through their junk folder for my emails, and not being responded to very often, probably because of just that.
Maybe some providers have it better, but I tried a few and each was just not good. I really think Microsoft, Amazon, Google and other big players have intentionally separated the good, trusted IPs, ones they use for email services specifically, and made the other worse
But isn’t this in specific just about bindings?
I’m not sure I understand what you mean? Seems very natural to me, especially if you already talk as a habit. Do you mean how do you preface the question or smooth into it or something?
What do you normally talk about? I mean, I don’t think you need to make this more complicated than it is. If you do talk already, I think it follows you’d naturally want to know more of each other? So you’d ask. How more natural can it really get?
Edit: you know what, this is my suggestion: stop overthinking it. You don’t need to make science of it and consciously think about engagement and all that, just go with the flow. You want to know something, you’ll have to eventually just ask. That’s as natural as it gets. Just keep talking and it’ll all come if the interest is mutual
Edit2: actually sorry about going on tangents and making this long, but I have to say I never thought asking questions wasn’t natural, but I have adhd and had that unmedicated and unmanaged for most of my youth. So I always just talked and talked and had fun knowing more and more, and part of that is asking questions, or that’s how I think about it. People seem very glad they get to talk about things, a lot of people don’t really get the opportunity enough I guess. I had fun and a lot of people around me and never was alone or without company if I wanted some, be it just normal casual friend stuff or romantic or sexual or whatever. I think a big part of that was the naive and unfiltered interest and questions I just had about everything and the lack of awareness about if that might be weird. ADHD just made me go and go and do and do and I never thought any of it was unnatural, and nobody ever mentioned something in that vein either. I bet some people found that annoying or rude or whatever, but those people wouldn’t have stayed in my life either way, so I guess, even thinking about it medicated and the adhd managed, in hindsight, it wouldn’t have mattered one bit.
This is all just to say that there isn’t just one good way of approaching things especially socially. I had a bunch of luck thanks to the adhd impulsivity and lack of any deeper self-awareness about social stuff, so it came naturally to me, but that same mindset can be achieved and kind of “clicked” consciously too. But that’s not the point. The point is, just go and do things, if it works it works, if not, it never would’ve worked either way, and something else will come up and work. Things have a way of working out without conscious input.
I’d probably dedicate some days each week to friends or family, to have more active contact before it’s late, but be shamelessly selfish the other days and spend them trying to finish some of my hobby projects and finally finishing The Witcher 3 if possible.
That’s going to be rough to those currently on my daily agenda, like partner and kid, but I’ve given so much to them, and so little to others I care about, that the balance has to be leaning towards the latter.
Not sure if I actually could do that though. But that’s what I’d hope I’d be able to push for.
This sounds entirely strange to me. Im very likely out of the loop, or from a different culture, but I can’t understand how this could ever work, doesn’t seem like something people would consistently pay for, when it’s usually as easy as just existing normally to automatically and organically meet people and have relationships.
I get that it’s likely not as easy as that for everyone, and ymmv, but even then, there are free options. And options that have thousands and thousands of active users at any given time to match with. Of all the concepts fediverse could plausibly solve, I can’t see this doing that. But I’d love to hear how that’d work! Sounds curious.
I guess I can’t see the analogue, even, in the centralized world. Are there services like this that actually exist long term? Is this a cultural thing? I have never heard of matchmakers outside of rich people stereotypes, and those are few and far between.
I don’t mean to say it won’t work. This is my initial gut reaction and confusion. I suspect it’s a cultural thing, has to be, since you do speak of it as though it was something often done. I’d be curious to hear more about this kind of thing just for curiosity.
Really, talking realistically I’d move far north domestically, far from cities.
But if we’re talking ideally, I would definitely love Longyearbyen or the region in general. But that’s not even remotely feasible, if we are being entirely honest.