What should I do if I don’t have anything to enjoy and I don’t have a bright future to work for/ wait it?
As an extra note, I started to hate dealing with humans and I don’t have any friends.
See a professional, seriously, because this sounds like textbook early depression.
Sadly, I saw 3 different professionals, it does not work.
I was expecting that they won’t have a magic phrase to say and solve my issues before I go to them and I partially went due to the advice of the people around me.
After going and finding out myself, I can confirm that I was right.
Whether it’s through professionals IRL or strangers on the Internet, it’ll require effort on your part. You’re going to have to want to be an active participant and willing to work on yourself. It will be a process, not a single event.
What does “work on yourself” mean in this context?
I was expecting that they won’t have a magic phrase to say and solve my issues
That is a logical expectation because that’s not what they do.
After going and finding out myself, I can confirm that I was right.
Ahh, so, you were expecting them to TRY to fix you with a magic phrase and when the magic phrase never came, you assumed that they had failed.
You got it all backwards. Those people don’t fix you. They teach you, they point you in the right direction, they tell you the things your friends won’t, they ask the questions you’ve been avoiding.
YOU fix YOU.
If the athlete doesn’t show up for the competition, they can’t blame the loss on bad coaching.
Also go to someone who prescribes meds, and take them.
That said, I feel you are right to hate the other humans. They are really, really stupid.
They kept making me try meds, they never work.
They take quite some time to get the full effect. Like it could be a couple of months before you start seeing improvement.
Therapy is a vehicle, and you are the driver. You’re only going to move forward if you drive.
That being said, finding a therapist you work well with is hard, and, in my experience, takes quite a few tries before finding someone with whom you are comfortable.
My suggestion is to find someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and literally read this post to them. I’ve had luck using Alma to find a therapist (in the US).
I genuinely hope you are able to work through this - I’ve been there, as have many people. You can do this, and you’re not alone
You’re right, there is no magic ‘press button, receive well-adjusted and chemically balanced human being’ button, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying. Therapy is a process, especially with medication, psychoactive medication is notoriously fucky with a long adaptation phase and weird side effects, some of which stick around and some of which don’t after a few weeks. A couple weeks of therapy and medication isn’t going to cure anything, give them the time they need to work toward your goal, because the alternative is a deep, dark hole you don’t want to go down. Take it from someone who’s been there, and who is only here now, 30 years later, because someone convinced me to stick with the process.
There’s a meme in Norway for this where professionals always ask “did you try hiking?”
Seriously though did you try hiking? There are no problems in the back country. Or people.
Ain’t a bad idea.
Round about 10 years ago I lived alone in a little cabin in the woods. I didn’t have much in the way of money, didn’t need much of it either. Wood stove, books from the library for entertainment.
Shit, I was way calmer and happier when I lived in the woods.
This question is way above Lemmy’s pay grade. I hope your situation gets better. People are right in saying that if self-help fails then it’s time to give professional help another chance if that’s accessible for you.
I do listen to a lot of podcasts and have recently heard something relevant from an expert in the field:
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: How to Find Your Purpose
Episode webpage: https://omny.fm/shows/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-find-your-purpose
Your post history also indicates that you’re routinely steeped in the worst doom news that social media serves up. It seems like it would be worth taking a break from consuming this material and find alternative ways to spend your time.
I think that is called the human condition.
Antidepressants
Antidepressants just make you feel nothing. In many cases it’s worse than not being on them.
You need different antidepressants. I’m on prozac, and it only makes me feel better.
Schedule everything then? If you’re already nothing then suffering through some anxiety to plan something new isn’t much worse than literally nothing right? So plan shit out, and stick to said schedule. Find a hobby where you can meet people you don’t hate? Music, games, fostering kittens, whatever idk.
You clearly need a community. There are millions of them, plenty accepting. Just ideally find a positive one before you end up in a negative one.
Psychedelics
Learn to love yourself. And look for help. You don’t know what the future will be, things can change drastically sometimes in just a few weeks.
Not ironic here: I was at a very low point, and what I did was ditch everything, brought some gear to sleep outside, and decided to see how long I could stay outside with just my fishing gear.
To be fair, I brought freeze-dried food for a couple days, but after about a week I felt better enough to head back to society.
What I did that week was primarily fish for dinner and gather firewood for the evening. Did wonders for my psyke.
Therapy
Been in that state a lot. That’s classic depression. Evo-psych has some stupid ideas but their read on depression is solid. That urge to withdraw from society is a human urge. The urge is designed to lead to either, you leaving your band of primates to seek another, or your fellow group members coming and finding you to show how much you matter to them. Modern life doesn’t let that happen though. So many of our relationships are digital or just shallow so no one can tell you’re leaving, and changing your group in a real way is hard. If you want to feel betterment you have to use your rational brain to seek out what your body is instinctively reaching for. Pick something that you have always cared about, and go to a real life event centered on that thing. This can be almost anything, as long as there are real people, really sharing a physical space. Talk to the people about that thing. Don’t do it just to tick it off the list, you have to pay attention to what they are saying because you need to be able to articulate their ideas and then respond to them.
And to continue your real life event thing, even just going outside and watching something happen can help get the ball rolling. It won’t be quite the same, like you said, but it won’t at all be a waste of time. Even going for a regular walk in a somewhat busy area can help, especially if you get to say high to a dog or something(which plays into your interaction thing).
Change your name and/or pronouns. Half joking, a lot of us live overcast lives as a result of feeling trapped in someone else’s life. If you don’t have friends then what’s there to lose?
Get a dog. Always happy to see you when you get home, will pester you relentlessly into moderate excercise, #1 wingman for meeting friends or significant others.
I owned a dog for brief amount of time.
Trust me, no.
The dog deserve a better human who can stay active with him.
Such thoughts can be very overwhelming, ever present, consuming. Imagine swimming against a strong current. Sometimes it’s important to just take a break. Get out of the stream and watch it rush by. Of course you can’t stay out forever, there are factors beyond your reach, it pulls you back in. But the best bet to beat the pull of this vortex is to try and create as many of these breaks as possible. Small as they may be. While you rest, consider the advice in this thread. It’s benevolent, you know? Consider a dialectic position. For every bad thing that pulls you down, think about a good thing that lifts you up too. Literature can be powerfull too, in that you might discover descriptions, states and emotions in which you find yourself in a way you never could phrase it yourself. It’s all about a balance of “being seen”, receiving empathy, regaining agency and changing perception.
you could start learning c++and contribute to some open sourced games out there
