Let’s have a lunch and learn!
Alright, team, let’s circle back and ensure we’re fully aligned on our north star objectives. We need to leverage synergy, engage in blue-sky thinking, and touch base on our pain points to drive mission-critical outcomes. But let’s not boil the ocean with unnecessary jargon - at the end of the day, we need to optimize our bandwidth for real, value-driven impact. If we keep moving the needle with this kind of thought leadership theater, we risk losing sight of our core competencies and drowning in a sea of meaningless buzzwords. Let’s pivot toward clear, actionable insights and sunset the overuse of strategic messaging before it becomes a blocker to true innovation. Instead of just playing the fast-follow game with every trending framework, let’s focus on original, high-impact execution that actually drives results.
Thoughts?Chris, do you have any builds?No?
Good. Then let’s action this and drive it across the finish line!
Jesus fucking Christ. This was excellently written and horribly real.
Other than the lack of a “shift left” it’s just about perfect.
Thanks. It hit close to home. I hate it.
Perfect except for ‘Thoughts?’ Instead of that it should be an appeal to the speaker’s boss: ‘Chris, do you have any builds?’
Done. 😁
How do I delete someone else’s comment.
Thank you for reaching out. After a strategic review of available pathways, we regret to inform you that the requested course of action is not viable.
I heard “rightsizing” for the first time last year.
I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.
The only time I hear rightsizing is for cloud resources. I’ve never heard of it in human resources. That sucks.
“Tribal knowledge.”
- image: We, clan. Together, strong.
- reality: Ask Tommy if he remembers how to reset the printer
Though, I actually like this one. It’s a pretty cool phrase you can use anywhere.
I call this one oral tradition, it always gets a chuckle
This is normally called “institutional knowledge” which is definitely a real thing, I don’t think it’s a marketing or HR buzzword. Though, a lot of the time it somewhat trivial things those things do add up. Institutional knowledge around things like how to deal with a finicky piece of specialized hardware, or what are the right words to convince your bosses boss to pay for you to go to a conference are pretty helpful. If you have an older “individual contributor” in your company that has been there for a while and hasn’t climbed the ladder, they might be a gold mine for that kinda info (they could also just be an ass)
Bio break.
I don’t think I have to elaborate on that one.
This is a gamer term. I’ve never heard it in a business environment. Even as a IT engineer.
Lucky you, it’s all over my company.
I’ve never heard it in a business environment. Even as a IT engineer.
My friend manages a team of engineers and TAMs for massive companies that do stuff like make airplanes and manage phone networks and you know the names. They specifically produce a toolsuite and rent out pro-serv nerds to go to mammoth DCs and show people where they fucked up their cabling and double the throughput. Like, SO nerdy.
‘bio break’ is used a few times a day.
- Its unprofessional.
- Its gross. Saying something thats basically “gonna go take a dump” is unnecessary. Personally I don’t give two shits, but not everyone is as easygoing as me. Best to keep a professional hat on at work.
I did use it at work once and a single “Dude TMI” was all it took for me to stop. Online playing an MMO as a group is casual and often used as a trigger for a group break.
At work I just say “going to step away for a bit” and that’s all that’s needed.
Def all over the business world. It’s more polite than saying “okay, let’s have a 5 minute break from this meeting so everyone can piss and get some more coffee”
I like it because it’s so vague.
A nap is pretty biological! And nobody will ask why your bio break was an hour long.
Thats not so much a corpo thing as a gamer thing IMO.
“AFK, Bio break” is much quicker to type.
“AFK, Bio
This is all you needed to type. Kids are too lazy to type the rest.
I never heard a gamer use “bio break” lol
Uh. It’s been used for YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARS in MMOs.
^ usually just “brb bio” or “afk bio”, or just “bio”.
Its seriously old, like, “woot” or “LFG” levels of old.
Makes sense! I haven’t played a real-time MMO since RuneScape was new! Haha
Maybe it’s an American thing, because give never heard it used on European servers
I work at a school and that one gets used sometimes. A lady that helps us develop programming said it quite often and my colleagues picked it up, I don’t use it myself.
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Bio break.
My friend uses that all the time.
It means a pee break, a tea break, sometimes a ‘walk rover’ break. When meetings cross that 44-min mark, it’s break time.
fuck. i hate this one the most.
just say “break.” let everyone else decide for themselves if it needs to be biological in nature.
I don’t use that, I usually just say I’m going to go grab some water but it’s better than saying “brb ima go take a wicked piss”. That being said, I’d respect the hell out of anyone who said that
Huh. I literally only know this from the context of mmo games.
TIL where that is from
Referring to people, staff as resources. Nice and dehumanizing.
An old line manager referred to me as a resource in front of me once. I should have told her to fuck off.
I’ve heard “human capital” before. The soulless fucks make others a commodity by stripping the mere mention of their existance of its humanity.
Leadership at the company I work for started saying “let’s double click that” to mean let’s go into more detail on that topic. Hate it.
Also “let’s take this offline” which just means let’s have a different meeting about it, it’ll still be online because we’re all remote.
In my experience, “take this offline” means they don’t want to have the discussion in front of present company.
For example, mentioning anything less-than-ideal in a meeting in front of large groups. It’s basically a thinly veiled way to control morale through selective information.
I guess it depends on the company, so far mine it’s just making more meetings but keeping the current one focused. I’m fine with that, just hate the expression because it only makes sense if the follow up meeting was in person but we’re all remote
Looks like everyone has ignored that you’re talking about the expression not the act. I also hate take it offline, I’ll just say… this sounds like a separate meeting.
Also “let’s take this offline” which just means let’s have a different meeting about it, it’ll still be online because we’re all remote.
See, I would think that would mean for more individual discussion, as in “this isn’t relevant to this meeting, why don’t you and I talk about this after the meeting or at a later point.”
I think everyone has those coworkers who see meetings as an opportunity to ask about things with no relevance to anyone else in the room and makes everybody sit through 10 minutes (per discussion) about an issue that only pertains to them, instead of just going to the manager/whatever’s office in their own time to ask about their personal situation.
If it’s just to table it until another meeting, though, that doesn’t make any sense.
I think in many cases it results in separate discussion over slack, probably between managers but it still often ends up in a follow up meeting.
Oh snap I should have read more comments before posting about “double clicking”. I hate it.
I’ve been hearing “velocity” a lot recently and that also makes me cringe.
The first one is an Abomination unto Nuggan. I’m OK with the second one being used in a meeting to divert a topic that needs covered but is getting off tack.
Take it offline as in turning it off? “We’re taking the service offline” or “Let’s talk about this face to face?”
Nope, all in a teams meeting discussing something, topic diverges or becomes too complicated and is slowing the meeting. Manager says “let’s take this offline” or “we’ll discuss offline”. Keeps the meeting focused but I hate the phrase. It’s not offline because it’ll just be another teams meeting!
Do you have a better way to phrase it? I usually see this to mean “focus on this topic rather than get distracted. We can discuss that later” … or I guess that’s a better way to phrase it
Let’s take that offline perhaps better as let’s discuss that separately/later.
Double clicking should just be something like “to go into more detail” or something. I get why it happens, easy and quick to say, i just find it so irritating.
Before “double clicking”, it was “drill down”. That was no better
I really wish they’d use drill down instead
let’s discuss that separately/later
That can come off as, “Not now dumbass.” The new slang comes off as, “Yeah, needs covered, and we will, but not now.”
As always though, it’s all in the tone.
- Alignment
- Scalable
- Circle back
If you use these regularly I KNOW the meeting you just booked me into should have been an email.
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I can’t remember last time I heard someone use it in a normal conversation, but in the corporate world I find it gets incredibly overused.
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Touch base too
FUCK touching base that one’s the worst.
Can we put a pin in that and circle back later? Maybe parking lot it and we can discuss it at the end of the call
Every meeting should be a fucking email.
I spend more time in meetings talking about the work I’m going to do, than doing the actual fucking work.
Unless there is a need for faster communication or because it covers a topic that people have strong emotions about and need to see how others respond so they don’t assume the other person’s feelings about something. There are some cases where humans, being social animals, do need some interaction beyond words to accomplish coordinated tasks.
The vast majority of meetings should be emails though. Just wish people actually read emails…
How dare you not overachieve for your corporate overlords!
Dance, monkey, dance!
Anything they use to replace the word “layoffs”.
There are many but I find “let’s double-click on that” particularly grating
I always reply with, “Or we could right-click on that to see our options”.
“We work hard and play hard” makes my skin crawl. Also, had a manager who would describe every situation with a war analogy. Sorry Bob, this is Finance, we’re not literally killing each other. Take it down a notch.
I work hard and I play hard. Not here to play.
Everybody dance now!
Touch base
Can we “just double click on that” for a second?
shudders
I had a visceral reaction to this. If you’ve heard this in real life, my deepest sympathies.
What is it even supposed to mean?!
“Let’s explore that topic more”
What would a linux user say for this?
“Can we just dot slash that then chmod plus x that semicolon dot slash that for a second”I have to say, I have used the phrase “Drill Down” to refer to the same thing? Does it cause the same reaction?
MVP - as in “minimum viable product”
More commonly known as the slop of a product or solution that’s being slinged to all the markets early on without adequate documentation, support, usability, scalability, standards or security.
“Corner the market” also deserves a disgusting mention.
Especially if the MVP ends up with a lot of scope creep for features that are not MVP
“We’re family”
#1 toxic workplace red flag
